During Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin was mainly characterised by his giant, flaccid lack of ambition.
But now he’s a new man! Jon Gosselin is no longer content to stand in Kate Gosselin‘s shadow! If it kills him, he’s going to make the world sit up and realise that – rather than being the passive, testicle-faced non-entity that everyone thought he was – he’s easily as much of an overbearing turdbasket as his estranged wife.
And if that means secretly withdrawing over $200,000 from his joint account, leaving his family with just $1,000, then that’s precisely what Jon Gosselin will do. So he’s done it.
Remember when your main concern about Jon & Kate Plus 8 was the negative effect that the gruelling schedule might have had on the Gosselin children? Gee, what a profoundly innocent time that was. Because now, if you’re anything like us, your priorities have shifted somewhat. Now your main concern about Jon & Kate Plus 8 is twofold. You’re concerned that a) the show even exists at all and b) Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin and all the Gosselin children haven’t been encased in concrete and dumped into the sea yet.
Because it seems as though the Jon & Kate Plus 8 saga is getting weirder – and thus a little more tedious – with every passing day. Last week, for instance, Jon Gosselin was fired from Jon & Kate Plus 8 and – even though that’s what he’s been openly desiring for the last few weeks – he reacted by throwing the world’s biggest pissy tantrum about it.
It wasn’t the smartest move – because that would have been to negotiate a separate reality TV show with TLC entitled Jon Gosselin: Memoirs Of An Uncomfortably Creepy Horndog In The Obvious Early Stages Of Male Pattern Baldness – but it was a work of genius compared to what Jon Gosselin has reportedly just done. Because Jon Gosselin has reportedly swiped most of the money from the joint account he shared with Kate Gosselin, leaving her with hardly anything at all. The New York Daily News reports:
Upon learning what happened, Kate hired high-powered lawyer, Marty Singer, who is requesting a judge to hold Jon in contempt of court for emptying out a reported $200,000 from their account. “It is very disappointing that Jon Gosselin has escalated this to such an ugly place that her lawyers have to do everything they can to protect her and her children from his outrageous actions.”
This has to be it, surely. Jon & Kate Plus 8 – or Kate Plus 8, or Kate Plus 7 & Jon Plus The One Kate Likes The Least, or Jon Plus 200,000, or whatever it’s called today – can’t survive much longer in the face of all this nonsense. Because, really, what kind of man swipes that much money from his estranged wife? Doesn’t he know what that money is for? It’s for essentials like food and shelter and haircuts. Does Jon Gosselin even know how much it costs for Kate Gosselin to get a haircut?
Well, judging by the state of her it’s about 50p. OK, bad example.
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Marcelino says
i dont like Jon Gosselin, this guy is a womanizer and he just likes to have some publicity.
Tam Marschall says
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