Jon Gosselin Blah Blah Blah, Another Woman Blah Blah Blah

Jon & Kate Plus 8, Jon Gosselin, Kate GosselinJon & Kate Plus 8 returns tonight, which is ace news if you like stilted conversation and scenes of infant anguish.

But what if people don’t watch it? What if people have become so sick of all the rubbish surrounding Jon & Kate Plus 8 – his alleged infidelities, her cold-faced shrillness, the kids’ awful faces and stupid voices – that they simply abandon the show? Relax – Jon Gosselin has got a plan to keep the viewers interested. He’s reportedly got another girlfriend.

Yes, another one. This is like Jon Gosselin’s fourth girlfriend in as many weeks. Now you’ll watch the show, right? No?

The more we see of Jon Gosselin, the more we’re convinced that he needs a woman like Kate Gosselin in his life. You know, an obnoxious, overbearing control freak who’s compulsively unable to say a single nice thing about the love of her life without lacing it with a fat dollop of barely-concealed malice. Because as awful as she is – and let’s not kid ourselves here, Kate Gosselin couldn’t be more awful if she was made out of earwax – at least she kept Jon Gosselin’s inner turd suppressed.

And that was probably quite difficult, because it’s coming clear that Jon Gosselin’s inner turd is monstrous. You only have to look at his behaviour following his split from Kate to see that. Given that Kate Gosselin has been photographed actually hitting her children, all Jon needed to do was keep up the mopey old underdog shtick that he’d perfected on Jon & Kate Plus 8 and the divorce would have easily gone his way.

But no. Instead Jon Gosselin larked around on a yacht in St Tropez with his wife’s plastic surgeon’s daughter while also apparently having some sort of relationship with another woman, so it looks like Kate Gosselin will take him for everything he’s got – which, incidentally, is thought to be four shapeless T-shirts and a half-eaten cupcake.

Still, Jon Gosselin’s got this far already, so why stop now? If you ask us, Jon Gosselin should just get a new girlfriend and let her spend a night at the house where his wife and children live. What? He’s done that already? That damn Jon Gosselin – he’s always one step ahead. RadarOnline reports:

Jon was reportedly out at a bar/restaurant Saturday night in Pennsylvania and seen with a twenty-something woman who appeared interested, very interested, in him. How interested? hears that she drove her Mercedes back to Jon’s house at 3 a.m. and stayed until 6 a.m.

What could this mystery woman have done for three hours in the Gosselin house? Well, we’ve seen a few episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8 so we think we’ve got a decent idea – chances are it involved either baking, rollerskating, playhouse construction or dirty dirty sex. Maybe we’ll never know, but the smart money’s on baking.

But whatever happened, all we have to do now is wait for Kate Gosselin’s retaliation. And it had better be good – with all of Jon’s gallivanting lately, Kate needs to prove that she’s equally oblivious to the basic emotional needs of her children, or else she risks looking like a half-decent parent in comparison. Our advice to Kate? Leave a lot of knives lying around the house. Knives and acid.

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter


  1. singlemompa says

    Sadly some Pa divorce Judges are so determined to grant “daddy time ” that drugs, alcoholism, and skanky women who clearly are not in the best interest of the children’s well being are not being taken into account anymore. It is obvious to see from the overwhelming posts and articles looking forward to Kate’s albeit deserved retribution that most people are unaware of how little justice there is in some PA Custody Courts . Judges freely hand innocent children over to addicts, criminals, famewhores, and others unable to provide the most basic care and supervision.

  2. Linda says

    I don’t think that Jon is displaying a new side of himself. I think that this is the real Jon. This is the Jon that Kate had tried to unwisely and unsuccessfully contain. Unwisely, because you can’t change someone.

    Jon is showing his true self complete with poor judgement, impulsivity, and apparent disregard for the feelings of others. What’s that sound like? That’s right — a teenager. I’d say that Kate has one less boy to take care of.

  3. STACY says


  4. Lauren says

    Who is watching the kids inside the house while he is in the apartment above the garage?

  5. bernie29 says

    Well, I believe in the old saying, “What goes around, comes around.” A former boyfriend who I had known for a very long time (but dated for less than a year)left me for some bimbo at work. She acted like the life of the party at work and he fell for it. He married her and a year later, he realized what a doofus he was for marrying her. Then he got a divorce which broke his heart and soul because it was not his first divorce. More than likely, it will someday be Jon’s turn to get his heart broken and I don’t think anyone will be there to pick up the pieces and console him. I realize Kate has a control freak problem and that didn’t help matters any either. But still the vows say, “For better or for worse….”. I think they should have gone to see Dr. Phil. But I think that Dr. Phil would have whacked Jon up side the head first, then given him some of his words of wisdom. But as well, I think he would have some thought provoking and challenging things for Kate too. She needs to learn to speak with grace around Jon for the sake of the kids. From some other blogs I’ve read, she’s learning to let go of her controlling overbearing ways…too bad she had to learn through a divorce. Why can’t people learn without the divorce? That sucks. Our country is as strong as our family units…hmmmm. We need to stop the high rate of divorce and work at our marriages more.

  6. Mightyconan says

    To all the sadly poisonous women who feel wronged by a man in their past: GET A LIFE & STOP POSTING HERE. Jon was hung with a SHREW & has found happiness. If you post FLAMING ANTI MAN stuff you’re probably a SHREW TOO & deserve the negative karma you got. Get Over It.