Jon Gosselin has had an epiphany. And, no, epiphany isn’t the name of a new experimental hair-replacement procedure.
He’s had a real epiphany. Whisper it, but Jon Gosselin might have worked out what an unstoppable bellend he is. Yesterday at the Manhattan West Side Jewish Centre, Jon plucked up the courage to tell all and sundry that his ‘moral compass’ has been all out of whack.
And it seems genuine. Jon Gosselin seems truly sorry for everything he’s done. And we’re sure he’ll continue to explain exactly how sorry he is in his new book, TV show, range of ornamental ceramics and any other method he think of to stop him getting a real job.
The more we think about it, the more Jon & Kate Plus 8 reminds us of the last Lord Of The Rings film. Not because it primarily stars a greedy troll, a confused-looking fat bloke with terrible taste in clothes and several annoying midgets – although, now we come to think of it, that’s a pretty good reason – but because we’re starting to think that it’s never going to sodding end.
We should have stopped hearing about Jon & Kate Plus 8 back when TLC decided to stop making new episodes. But no, instead we’ve had to put up with accusations of theft and dreary old specials about how famous Kate wants to be and – as of last week – stories about how much of a turd Jon Gosselin is from Jon Gosselin’s actual current girlfriend. Face it, we thought, this nonsense is going to burble on until the end of poxy time.
But now, just maybe, the end could be in sight. Yesterday, for reasons that we’re not sure even he knows about, Jon Gosselin spoke at Manhattan’s West Side Jewish Centre to explain that everything he’s done in the last few months has been the work of a massively obnoxious toolbox. Gee Jon, thanks. Because we really wouldn’t have known that otherwise, would we? OK! reports:
?Half the stuff I've done, if I look at my moral compass, I shouldn?t have done. It's hard for me because I can't forgive myself for the things I've done? So to ask for forgiveness from someone who may never forgive me is tough for me. I do apologise to Kate. I'm sorry for doing the things I did. I do ask for her forgiveness.?
And, for any haters reading, you can tell that Jon Gosselin totally means it because he apologised to Kate Gosselin in public to a bunch of strangers at the headquarters of a religion he doesn’t even subscribe to, rather than just doing it privately to Kate’s face like any other normal human being would. That is how you measure sincerity, right?
Anyway, good for Jon Gosselin. We’re thrilled that he’s finally woken up and started to apologise. Now, if he could hurry up and apologise for having sex with that blabbermouth nanny in the hot tub – or in fact make any gesture of reparation for the way that her kiss and tell story destroyed our libido forever – we’d appreciate that, too.
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