Johnny Weir Is Having The Gayest Divorce Ever

Johnny Weir and Husband Victor VolonovFigure skater and glittery diva supreme Johnny Weir is getting his profile ready to put back up on Plenty Of Fish, and has announced he is divorcing his husband.   It seems no amount of chiffon and sequins could keep this love alive, and after two years, they are another Hollywood casualty.

There are rumors the cause is infidelity, crappy communication, lack of quality time spent together, maybe . But it seems the real reason is Weir’s husband defaced a Birkin. A BIRKIN.  Girl, I so get you.

Johnny Weir is basically a human Bedazzler.  He is like a swan of elegance and feather boas.  A few years ago, he decided to let himself be tamed by another less sparkly man, and married a lawyer named Victor Voronov.   Fast forward 2 years later, and Johnny is over being held down and wants to be free.  Free to fly and sprinkle his glittery self all over the place.  So he filed for divorce without apparently telling his hubby, and it’s already gearing up to be one of the bitchiest divorces ever.

The problems stared to arise back in January, it seems.  Victor and Johnny got into a super bitch fight that ended with Weir biting Voronov like a rabid Chihuahua.  The police were called, charges filed, and Weir was charged with domestic violence.   Eventually, the court date arrived, and the two walked in hand and hand, so the judge dismissed the case.  Coincidentally, it was only after getting his record clean that Johnny filed for divorce.  I know what you’re thinking, but who could ever believe someone would use their significant other in order to get what they want, and they toss them aside when they’re done?  (See- almost every couple in Hollywood and on VH1)

Since the filing, it has been a back and forth game of finger snaps and disses.  First, Voronov went on Twitter to let the world know he was BLINDSIDED by all of this.  Then he hired a “legal crisis manager” because obviously someone has been watching a little too much ABC primetime and thinks he is that important.  Weir saw his crisis manger, and raised him an “exclusive interview” with Access Hollywood.

In the interview, Weir talked about the domestic fight night, claiming his husband was schwasted and having mommy-in-law issues.  After he was done stomping his foot and pointing his finger in Johnny’s face, he then followed Weir into the bedroom and asked “to lay with him in the biblical sense.”  The irony and shade of that response is not lost on my super duper liberal ass, Mr. Weir.  Well played!  When Johnny refused, the fight turned physical, and Johnny bit him in self defense.  Of course with the 5-0, marks are all that matters, and since Victor had a big chunk of skin fucked up, Weir was arrested.

After Johnny tried to garner up sympathy from those who don’t feel all of this is moot since his sinning ass is going to hell anyway, an email sent from Weir to Voronov was “leaked” to TMZ.  In it, Weir admits to and apologizes for his bitchy ways, but really gets down to the root of their divorce.

 “If you decide to wreck things, please wreck cheaper things than Birkins….The fuck you on the Birkin is kinda cool, though, you artist. I know you don’t care about how I’ll survive if you divorce me, but please leave my Birkin bags, Celine bags and Chanel bags alone.”

Oh sweet gay baby Jesus.  How Voronov doesn’t have a permanent handprint on his cheek is incredible to me.  You can call a gay man an asshole, you can make fun of his mama or his love for Cher.  You can even call him tacky.  But you should never, ever mess with a man’s fancy purses.  Blasphemy.  I don’t even think I blame Weir anymore for running far far away from Victor.  How could you ever move past such a breech of trust and love?  I don’t think I could.

Of course, this is only the beginning of what is looking like will be my favorite story line this year.  Weir is now saying that Victor is threatening to do interviews himself unless Johnny pays him money (Victor says while both things were mentioned in the same phone call, they weren’t related. Mmhmm).  Weir in turn took the couple’s dog, and in true soap opera fasion, did it while Victor laid on the floor crying in despair.  Now, there are nudie pics of Weir being released.

Man, this is getting good.  I can’t wait to see what kind of Dolly Parton rejected fashion appears at their court dates.  Hopefully, Weir busts out his daisy dukes again because girl has legs for miles.

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Comments

  1. Fact checker says

    Johnny signed the divorce paperwork January 28 and filed it February 12, nearly a month before the DV hearing.

  2. Pine Scented Ethnic Cleanser. says

    I wish them all the best in their respective AIDS infected, anally obsessed futures.