If you’re US presidential candidate John McCain, you probably spend a lot of time strategising your next campaign move.
You’re also likely to spend even more time strategising your next move in general like, you know, getting up out of a chair and such. The remainder of your time is probably spent watching MTV and keeping up with the latest juice on trashy reality shows like The Hills. Well, at least that’s what John McCain says he does, sort of. He may just have said something to that effect because one of the characters on The Hills announced her support for John McCain.
And he likes it. He like it good.
Know what’s great about MTV? Everyone can sit down together and enjoy. The teenagers eager to learn how to be trashy and shallow, the boozy college kids who’ve already mastered being trashy and shallow and wasting their parent’s money on parties and Abercrombie polo shirts, and the geriatric presidential candidates like John McCain.
You see, Heidi Montag from MTV’s The Hills publicly endorsed John McCain in the US presidential election thingy going on. You have no idea who she is, do you. That's so pathetic. You don't know who she is, but John McCain does. He's cooler than you. John McCain is actually cooler than you. You know, she’s the really shallow, back-stabbing one that got loads of plastic surgery and has the creepy boyfriend. Actually, that really doesn’t help narrow it down, now does it? She’s also whoring her 15 minutes out by releasing singles and music videos. They’re crap, of course. Anyway, she’s supporting John McCain. Woo.
But look, look everyone! Look how cool and down to earth and in touch with the young folks John McCain is! He, like, is way grateful for her support, and stuff:
"I am honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of 'The Hills,' especially since the new season started."
As far as celebrity endorsements go, they’re usually seen as a bit of a blood-letting gash in the side of a candidate’s campaign race. But for John McCain, who has already sealed the Republican candidacy as well as backing from the current president, there’s really no further harm that can be done by somewhat creepily acknowledging a nod from random reality show person.
And it is creepy. It really is. Even if John McCain does watch The Hills (which we all know he doesn't) there is only one reason a man in his seventies would watch a show about beautiful, rich, monumentally stupid twenty-somethings.
It's that Brody Jenner. It's okay, Johnny-boy. We can't get enough of him, either.
Read more:
SWAMPLAND EXCLUSIVE!! McCain Reacts to Heidi Montag Endorsement! – TIME
euclid says
If there’s anything more fun for a seventy year old with
prostate cancer than sitting in front of the telly fantasizing about
having sex with a surgically enhanced 20-something,
it would have to be doing so while she endorses you. Circle jerk
or 21st c telectronic reach-around? You decide.
Please someone stop this sick perversion.
Whorehey says
You know? Barak Obama’s minister or reverend or whatever turned out to be a racist, ‘Merica loathing hatemonger, and Obama caught a HUUUGE amount of flack over that. McCain’s got the support of a functionally retarded, shallow bimbo who just happens to have money and cameras on her at all times. I’m not sure who’s support is more damaging to the candidate… I’d say Rev. Jeremiah Wright edges Montag, if only because he made inflammatory remarks about the US. Heidi Montag is part of that 10% of American’s who can’t locate the US on a map. The headline, “Loathsome Skank Supports McCain” is not something the senator should be thrilled about…