I don’t even know what to say. I feel like the title alone speaks for itself. John Mayer is, well, John Mayer. He writes stupid moody songs that apparently everyone but me likes, but he’s also kind of undercover sleazy. He’s literally like every other scummy douche with a guitar trying to sound soulful when really he’s sliding into bitches DMs left, right and center.
Last week, music producer David Foster posted a picture of him and his super hot daughter, Erin, on Instagram. John commented asking for David to put in a good word. Classic John Mayer. This week, John has taken to hitting up Twitter to hit on Nicki Minaj. Because…well…JOHN MAYER.
Since I guess Erin Foster never got back to him, John Mayer got back to doing what he does best: trying to get it in with some big tittied female celeb (see: Katy Perry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Jessica Simpson. Mayer is clearly into big boobs and small IQs….that’s a sin for me to say. Jennifer Love Hewitt is a goddess).
John took to Twitter, since Instagram wasn’t really working out too well for him, to make a little post about Nicki Minaj.
John tweeted: “I spend an inordinate amount of time per day wondering if Nicki Minaj would like me or not.”
Nicki then responded: “Would my body be your wonderland?”
To which king of smooth, Mayer, responded: “Please hold, losing my shit. This isn’t my reply yet.”
Twitter has been silent since, so either John got Nicki’s number from her people and he sent her a dick pic and she responded with 30 laugh-crying emojis, or….no…no or. That’s clearly the only possible outcome for this situation.
See, this is why John should stick to chasing after girls like Taylor Swift and not thick ass women like Nicki Minaj. The Taylors will think your tweets and dick pics are cute, boo. The Nickis know otherwise.