You remember. Anyway, the Jonas Brothers lost some of their mojo when Jonas Brother The Elder decided to get married. And now that his eyes have been opened to the exciting world of monthly, perfunctory, emotionally-distant, missionary-style sexual intercourse, the rest of the band have become a bit of an afterthought.
But at least Joe Jonas – or Middle Jonas as everyone knows him – has still got it. Why, Joe Jonas has just split up with Demi Lovato from Camp Rock. Thank God – maybe this’ll mark a return to the old swinging, carefree, Bacchanalian evenings of absolutely no sex that we’ve come to expect from him.
As one of the leading forces in sexless, big-eyebrowed, manipulative corporate pop, Joe Jonas gets his pick of girls. And he’s got a definite type, too – he’s previously been linked to the likes of Taylor Swift and Camilla Belle. That means if you’re sort of pretty but a bit dead behind the eyes and you generally look as if you’ve never had an original thought in your entire life, you’re in luck – you’re precisely the type of girl that Joe Jonas goes for.
In fact, you’re in double luck. Joe Jonas has just split up from Demi Lovato – the sort of pretty, dead behind the eyes star of Camp Rock who looks as if she’s never had an original thought in her entire life – so he’s on the rebound. Hooray! People reports:
Joe Jonas is back on the market! The singer, 20, and girlfriend Demi Lovato, 17, have called it quits, a source tells PEOPLE, but will still be hitting the road together this summer, starting July 27 in Dallas.
We’re heartbroken. Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato were made for each other. No, literally, they were actually made for each other – they were both injection-moulded at the same underground Disney plant and their hair was stolen from the same wailing Korean toddler. True story.