For a boy who looks like a mutant hybrid between Sylar from Heroes and a drawing of a puppy, Joe Jonas seems to be a bit of a cad.
Just last week, country singer Taylor Swift was rushing around telling anyone who’d listen about what a git Joe Jonas was for dumping her during a 25-second phonecall. But already Joe Jonas has decided to move on and sow his wild oats elsewhere.
We mean that literally, too. Joe Jonas literally went out, bought a packet of wild oats and buried it in the ground. We didn’t mean ‘sow his wild oats’ in a sexual way. Joe Jonas is a virgin, remember. A virgin. Oh, and also, Joe Jonas might be banging that girl from 10,000 BC.
If any of you saw the movie 10,000 BC, then… no, wait, what are we talking about, nobody watched the movie 10,000 BC. OK, if any of you saw the trailer or accidentally walked past the television while an advert for 10,000 BC was on, you may have caught a glimpse of Camilla Belle – a pretty young thing with eyebrows that look like they were drunkenly scrawled onto her face by an angry stepdad with a magic marker.
And if you saw Camilla Belle you may have thought “Ooh, now there’s a girl who’s femininity I’d like to respect until the day of our wedding.” Joe Jonas certainly thought that, because he’s apparently her new boyfriend.
Even though his recent ex Taylor Swift is still using a combination of her ‘Joe Jonas is a bellend for dumping me‘ and ‘Joe Jonas didn’t get me pregnant‘ stories to promote her new album, Joe Jonas has already hooked up with Camilla Belle, if reports are to be believed. He really is quite the swordsman.
By which, obviously, we mean that Joe Jonas is skilled in the art of sport fencing and has won several local and regional awards for it. We don’t mean ‘swordsman’ in a sexual way. Joe Jonas is a virgin. A virgin. Anyway, People reports:
“They met on the set of his music video. All the guys always had thought she was really pretty and that’s why they asked her to be in it…. They are not public about it but they’ve just been hanging out with their friends and Joe’s brothers… They are very private about it. She’s a really good girl and it seems they share a lot of the same characteristics and morals.”
Which, we assume, means that they’re both adorable virgins. Or they might not be. After all, while Joe Jonas is 19 years old, Camilla Belle is 22 and she could have got up to anything in those extra three years for all we know.
While Joe’s smart to go for an older woman – it’s unlikely that Camilla Belle will respond to a split by making a puppetshow about it on MySpace like Taylor Swift did – there is a chance that she’ll push him into the world of premarital sex simply because she’s older than him. And that’s a worry, because Joe Jonas really is a randy old thumpsausage.
By which we mean… oh, never mind. We’ve got nothing.
Kath says
Look. He’s A Virgin. He’s Not Banging Camilla Belle. And this site is crap, cuz everyone knows he’s going to stay pure untill mariage. Get any obsessed Jonas fan and they’ll tell you the same thing.
ojdpatient says
Oh, come on!! Have a sense a humor! I’m an obsessed Jonas fan myself, and I can see the funny side of this. Any good fan can laugh at the ridiculous side of this article, and even the parts that have a shred of truth!!
heather says
this site is full of crap totally i agree.
ashley says
yeah we all kno joe is not a virgin.
he culd have ANY gurl in the world. who wouldnt take advatage of that?
an personally any gurl havib=ng sex with him is lucky/!!
an f.y.i noone carea about ‘purity rings’ :)
mez says
you kill me aha funny
VANNESSA LOVEINTON says
WHAT THE FUCK THIS WEBSITE DOSENT EVEN SHOW PICS EXEPT JOE ON A GUITUR
amy-elizabeth says
I myself wear a purity ring as a strict Christian. There is nothing sad or ‘crap’ about it – just because you don’t have sex doesn’t mean you don’t do other stuff. Anyway, what you do in your spare time is your problem, no-one else’s. Joe Jonas is very talented and busy as it is and I’m sure doesn’t really care what any of you people think of him, just as i don’t. Don’t forget, when you insult this boy, you insult all his fans, crushes and those people who would like to stay pure and experience true love as it should be.
Daphynee says
I agree with Kath. He still is a virgin and he will be until marrige. And this is old anyway. Joe is single, Camilla dumped him.
?~..LOVE.PEACE.JONAS..~?