Ever since the last Harry Potter book came out, there’s been a lack of shamefaced adults reading kid’s books on the tube.

And that’s because now everyone’s reading Twilight instead, despite the fact that reading a staunchly conservative abstinence manifesto dressed up as a slushy emo romance fantasy in front of other adults is far worse than reading Harry Potter.

So hooray for JK Rowling, who tomorrow releases her new Harry Potter spin-off book The Tales of Beedle the Bard, either for charity or to help us identify idiots more easily on the tube. Merry Christmas to you too, JK!

We thought that JK Rowling had been living in idle luxury since the publication of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows last year, maybe ordering 50 pizzas at once and then crapping all over them, or maybe giving the homeless urine-covered five-pound notes to take off their trousers and sing I’m A Little Teapot as loudly as possible. We’d expect JK Rowling does that because it’s exactly what we’d do if we earnt £13,000 an hour, too.

But we were wrong. Just because she’s so rich that she could tile her swimming pool with orphan teeth if she wanted, JK Rowling has found endless things to do with her time – like suing people who admire her and talking down to people more intelligent than her. And she’s also managed to make a clean break and move on from her Harry Potter days, too.

Well, OK, not a clean break, exactly. Or any other kind of break, for that matter. In fact, JK Rowling has pretty much carried on writing about Harry Potter regardless, like a woman who hasn’t stopped packing her husband’s lunchbox every morning even though he died a year ago.

The Tales Of Beedle The Bard might be familiar to some Harry Potter fans because not only was it alluded to in the Harry Potter novels, but it’s also the book that JK Rowling handwrote and auctioned off for almost £2 million last year. And now, in a peculiarly millionaire-spiting move, JK Rowling will tomorrow widely publish a printed, easier-to-read version of The Tales Of Beedle The Bard at a generously pikey-friendly price. Reuters reports:

A new book by British author J.K. Rowling, her unofficial farewell to the adventures of boy wizard Harry Potter which made her the world’s wealthiest writer, goes on sale on Thursday. Proceeds from “The Tales of Beedle the Bard,” expected to become an international bestseller even though the seven-book Potter series is over, will go to a charity for vulnerable children in Eastern Europe co-founded by Rowling.

Now, we haven’t researched this properly, but the charity that proceeds of The Tale Of Beedle The Bard will go to is either The Children’s High Level Group which campaigns to protect and promote children’s rights across Europe, or The Stitch This Harry Potter Merchandise Faster And I Might Give You Some Of My Food Foundation, which we’ve just made up. But it’s definitely one of those two.

But if you don’t want to The Tales Of Beedle The Bard, then don’t worry. Knowing what a cash cow Harry Potter is, it’s only a matter of time before someone at Warner Bros adapts it into a movie. And that way, rather than helping some whiny European kids, you’ll be lining the pockets of an obnoxious power-crazed nonspecific Hollywood executive who we imagine cheats on his wife with a teenager and spends his weekend throwing pebbles at dogs.

Which is better, obviously.

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