The Harry Potter books are irritating and twee and ‘wouldn’t it be a wonderful wheeze to buy a midnight feast from the tuck shop’, aren’t they.

No. No they’re not. They can’t be because the woman who wrote the Harry Potter books, JK Rowling, has admitted that she’s suffered from depression and battled suicidal thoughts before.

Of course, this all happened before Harry Potter got successful and JK Rowling got preposterously rich and stuff. Now any time JK Rowling gets a bit sad she’ll go to a poor person’s house, buy their furniture and pets for a tenner and set it all on fire in front of them until she’s happy again. Works every time.