Imagine how awesome it’d be if Jim Carrey was your dad. Wait, did we say ‘awesome’? We meant ‘soul-draining’.
We’d imagine that Jim Carrey would be the sort of parent who makes your friends say “Wow, your dad is so cool!” forcing you to explain to them that waking up every morning knowing that you’re about to be subjected to a tedious 45-minute comic improvisational display involving a spoon and pair of slippers has made your life a sheer unrelenting hell on earth.
Anyway, Jim Carrey does have a son – a six-year-old autistic boy called Evan. And even though Evan isn’t his and he’s not married to the woman who gave birth to Evan, Jim Carrey’s just gone on a march and told a magazine that Evan has ‘taught him how to love’, something that must bring tears of joy to the eyes of Jim Carrey’s 20-year-old biological daughter.
You don’t hear so much from Jim Carrey these days, do you? After every movie he was attached to got scrapped due to a combination of script concerns and fears that Jim Carrey’s huge salaries didn’t justify the days spent filming him self-indulgently riffing through every single shot, he’s been a little bit on the quiet side.
And, as we all know, when a Hollywood actor’s career starts to go south they tend to be left with three choices – voiceover work, Scientology and social activism. We could be wrong, but Jim Carrey’s gone and picked all three, the greedy sod.
Not only did he voice Horton Hears A Who – with a Robert Zemeckis Beowulf-style version of A Christmas Carol in the pipeline – but Jim Carrey has also been hanging round Tom Cruise an awful lot lately. And then there’s the social activism angle – Jim Carrey exercised that yesterday by going on a march to help make vaccines less likely to make kids all autistic and stuff, even if they don’t.
You see, Jim Carrey is romantically involved with – but will be forever unmarried to – Jenny McCarthy, the woman who wrote that film about people slipping around on vaginal blood once. And Jenny McCarthy has a son from a previous relationship who happens to be autistic. And that might be because of a vaccine he had once, even though most doctors say that it isn’t and that Evan might not actually be autistic at all.
But that’s why Jim Carrey has picked up the cause of making vaccines cleaner, because he loves that little boy so very dearly, as People reports:
As he led 8,500 people through the streets of Washington, D.C., Wednesday, hand-in-hand with his daughter, Jane, McCarthy and Evan, the actor led told PEOPLE, “He taught me how to love. And without Evan I might never have seen the greatness of Jenny’s spirit.” Carrey added to the families, lawmakers and other activists gathered to raise awareness about toxins in vaccines that McCarthy is “the source of all that is good” in his life.
Incidentally, Jenny McCarthy now calls Jim Carrey ‘the autism whisperer’ because of the apparently miraculous way that his incessant clowning helped Evan’s recovery. On behalf of all the housewives reading this we say “awww.” And on behalf of everyone else we say “Jim Carrey, if you so much as think of making a Patch Adams-style movie about any of this we’ll come round right now and lock you in a cupboard.”