Jessica Simpson’s New Sitcom Will Be Boring and Awful

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jessica-simpsonEveryone’s favorite ding-dong is coming to NBC. Jessica Simpson has confirmed that she and her cleavage will star in and executive produce a scripted sitcom loosely based on her life.

Always the exhibitionist, Jessica reveals that she’s eager for the world to see first-hand all the zany things that happen in her life.

“There’s a lot of things that happen in my life that I’m like, ‘People have to know about this’ … all the embarrassing things that happen behind closed doors, I wish, always wish that they were filmed.”

Unfortunately, we can already guess about a lot of what happens behind her closed doors. We all know how babies are made, and we already see the constant cowboy hat-and-muumuu vacation photos.

Presumably this role will come more naturally for the simple-minded bombshell than did her previous acting roles … in blockbusters including “The Dukes of Hazzard” and “Employee of the Month” … for which she earned an impressive four Razzie awards. Last night on the Tonight Show, Jessica told Jay Leno:

“I will be playing myself, which is pretty easy.”

Other featured characters, including Jessica’s fiancé, Eric Johnson, and her creepy dad, Joe Simpson, will be portrayed by actual actors. (To assist in the casting process, I would like to offer that Jim J. Bullock would make an exceptional Papa Joe. And perhaps Orphan Esther as pre-surgical Ashlee.)

The show will be co-produced by Electus and Universal Television, and of course that Joe Simpson will also have a hand in it. In its announcement, Electus compared Jessica to a “modern-day Lucy with incredible comedic chops.” Hopefully Lucy’s progency will find a way to sue them for that.

jessica-simpson-lucille-ball

In addition to her Razzie-winning film performances, everyone knows that Jessica had a more successful turn starring with then-husband Nick Lachey in the reality show “Newlyweds” on MTV in the early 2000s. At the start, “Newlyweds” was mesmerizing, primarily because of Jessica’s childlike imbecility, but that novelty wore off pretty quickly. There’s only so much sweet-natured dippiness the world can tolerate.

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Comments

  1. Roy says

    The first two sentences sum it up nicely. Exactly what is interesting about this “celebrity” other than her cleavage? She isn’t really good at anything.

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