As we speak, Jessica Simpson is in Kuwait, ready to boost troop morale by jiggling her boobies around and kidding herself that people are interested in her singing voice.
It's a lovely, kindhearted thing for Jessica Simpson to do. Or at least it would be, if Jessica hadn't ratcheted up a gigantic bill to hand the organisers in the process.
Although her Kuwait visit is essentially a goodwill trip, Jessica Simpson's private jet, accommodation and beauty entourage will leave concert organisers MySpace hundreds of thousands of dollars out of pocket. That's fair enough, though – those troops want to see a bright-orange man-jawed bimbo of questionable musical credibility, not a bright-orange man-jawed bimbo of questionable musical credibility with a rubbish make-up job.
Jessica Simpson's visit to Kuwait as part of Operation MySpace today has raised her profile immeasurably. A few weeks ago Jessica Simpson was the star of a hopeless turkey of a movie, presenter of a binned fitness DVD and girlfriend to an identikit sports star. A far cry from the days of Jessica Simpson being America's sweetheart just because she got to show off her tits and her devastating lack of intelligence on that reality TV show of hers, you'll agree.
But then Jessica Simpson announced her Kuwait concert and she was everyone's number one doll again. As well as reminding the world that she's a singer, Jessica Simpson also showed that she wasn't the vacuous, shallow-hearted, out-of-touch moron that some would have you believe. No – she was going to gee up the sagging morale of the troops stationed in Kuwait, and all for free. What a wonderful, if slightly oddly-coloured, girl Jessica Simpson is.
Except it's not completely free. Not once you've factored in expenses like the private jet and the expensive entourage that Jessica Simpson sure as sugar isn't paying for. MSNBC reports:
According to a source close to the Simpson camp, a private plane carrying Simpson and her entourage — which includes dad Joe, hairstylist Ken Paves, her personal assistant and a stylist — left L.A. and was due in Kuwait the evening of March 9. Total cost for the plane was approximately $150,000. Someone will be picking up the tab for accommodations as well, even though it’s been touted that Simpson will be forgoing her standard hotel suite to spend the night living like the troops in a bunk… Other expenses include her stylist and makeup artist (who both charge approximately $6,000 per day), and [hairdresser Ken] Paves, whose day rate is a whopping $10,000, according to the Simpson source.
$22,000 a day just to make Jessica Simspon look presentable? That's… well, actually that probably just about covers the cost of the Polyfilla and weaponised bronzer that she looks as if she rolls around in first thing each morning. Fair enough.
MySpace spokespeople have maintained that, although Jessica Simpson has racked up a hefty expenses bill, she hasn't been paid for the performance itself and is basically doing a good thing. Which, on reflection is probably true. How can sending Jessica Simpson to a country studded with anti-personnel landmines and chock full of lethal automatic weapons be anything but good? Jessica, we forgive you.
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mst3kster says
It’s all for the best because once Jessica starts “singing,” the Taliban supporters will mistake her voice over the load speakers for that of their sacred goat being butchered.
And then… there would be a REAL war!!
pops says
Kuwait doesnt have chock full of lethal automatic weapons and anti-personnel landmines it is one of the richest countries in the world and if u r seen carrying a weopon u will go to prison so stop making lies u idiots.shut ur idiotic moyths.