Which poll results are you awaiting the most eagerly this year? Time’s Man Of The Year? David Dimbleby’s favourite television moment? Something equally opinion-dividing and attention-dividing?

Nonsense. Like hecklerspray, you just want to know who gossip mag In Touch Weekly voted as having the best pair of celebrity tits.

Stop lying. You do.

Obviously – as you’ll have gathered by that none-too-subtle headline – the top breast accolade has gone to lantern-jawed Dukes Of Hazzard ’star’ Jessica Simpson (CDs). We’ll let one particularly appreciative fan expand on why "Jessica sets the standard for busty bombshells":

"She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double Ds! You can’t cover those suckers up!"

The superfan in question? None other than Jessica’s dad.

Altogether, now: EEEEeeeewwwwwwww…

Want to know the runners-up? Course you bleedin’ do, you cheeky little scamps. They include such luminaries as ‘Latin beauty Salma Hayek, Carmen Electra, actress/mother/activist Angelina Jolie, Monster’s Ball star Halle Berry, Ghost Whisperer sensitive Jennifer Love Hewitt, Lost in Translation’s Scarlett Johansson, diva Maria Carey, the 59-year-old Susan Sarandon and Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan’.

Hoo-ha! Big ones, little ones, nipples like headlights … and so on and so on.

Read More:

Simpson Busts Out With Best Cleavage – Zap 2 It

[story by C J Davies]