Nonsense. Like hecklerspray, you just want to know who gossip mag In Touch Weekly voted as having the best pair of celebrity tits.
Stop lying. You do.
Obviously – as you’ll have gathered by that none-too-subtle headline – the top breast accolade has gone to lantern-jawed Dukes Of Hazzard ‘star’ Jessica Simpson (CDs). We’ll let one particularly appreciative fan expand on why "Jessica sets the standard for busty bombshells":
"She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double Ds! You can’t cover those suckers up!"
The superfan in question? None other than Jessica’s dad.
Altogether, now: EEEEeeeewwwwwwww…
Want to know the runners-up? Course you bleedin’ do, you cheeky little scamps. They include such luminaries as ‘Latin beauty Salma Hayek, Carmen Electra, actress/mother/activist Angelina Jolie, Monster’s Ball star Halle Berry, Ghost Whisperer sensitive Jennifer Love Hewitt, Lost in Translation’s Scarlett Johansson, diva Maria Carey, the 59-year-old Susan Sarandon and Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan’.
Hoo-ha! Big ones, little ones, nipples like headlights … and so on and so on.
[story by C J Davies]