Jersey Shore should be on your radar. It should become your new addiction. It should fill the space that was left in your life when you gave up Chocolate Buttons.
You remember, you put that packet in your back pocket and they bloody melted all over your flippin’ iPod and you cursed the day you ever set eyes on their chocolaty goodness.
Where were we… oh yeah… Holy Guidos gone wild Batman. Hating Jersey Shore will become as much a part of your week as hating Danyl Johnson for being a cock is to ours.
The show premiered on MTV last week. Before that, around a fortnight earlier, assorted groups of people were trying to stop the show from hitting the air. The programme centres around a bunch of 20-something Americans of Italian descent, who move into a house on the Jersey Shore. Shocking, we know. The cast members seem to have been picked based on an arbitrary sliding scale of how tanned they are. There is at least one cast member to represent each shade of tanning – from a light fake bake to David Dickinson mahogany. This ensures no tan discrimination will occur. The bunch of wannabes will continue to rub fake tan and hair products all over their tacky new furniture for as long as the show manages not to alienate any more of the its audience and advertisers.
The show has so far lost two major sponsors. The first to jump ship was Dominos, who took all of their greasy, under-cooked goodness with them. The gang managed to lose this sponsor as the show was airing. It’s our guess – and it’s only a guess – that the fist pumping action alone was enough for them to think “Bloody hell, this television programme aimed at young folks is rather unseemly – let’s hop it.” The fist pumping wasn’t anything sexual mind you. But after you witness it, you’ll wish it were. It’s the lamer version of waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care. Except you should care, because you look like a pleb.
The show lost a second sponsor today. TMZ are saying that American Family Insurance sat around and watched the show with some mates and were not pleased with what they saw. They decided to withdraw from further advertising on the show. It’s a good move. The only thing more embarrassing and discriminatory than a bunch of people too stupid to know how offensive the term “Guido” may be – is the same people repeating the word at will, while applying enough hair gel to keep greasy, greasy RPatz going for a month.
From TMZ:
TMZ has learned American Family Insurance noticed their ads running during the premiere episode of the MTV reality show last week — an episode that “outraged” one major Italian group — and immediately called the network to make sure it doesn’t happen again. A rep for the insurance company tells us, “After seeing this show over the weekend, had we known the content, we would not have placed our ads on this show.”
Our favourite cast member so far is a girl who looks like a shrunken version of Christina Aguilera from her Can’t Hold Us Down video - but with a darker tan and longer extensions. 21-year-old Nicole a.k.a. “Snookie” spent the entire first episode vomiting up booze and getting off with anything that moved. Oh – and being so unpopular in the house that no one could be bothered to call her the aforementioned seven letter nickname and instead called her “Snickers” the whole time.
From Gawker, who couldn’t have put too fine a point on it if they’d tried:
Have you ever met a self-described “guido” or “guidette”? I haven’t, and I’ve lived within their purported stomping grounds for a decade. In fact, I bet that 99% of Americans have never met one, which is probably the bet MTV execs were making when they greenlighted this show, because the whole point of it seems to be to allow members of a tiny splintered-off sub-group, a small social network, really, to present themselves before the the largest possible audience that will feel comfortable looking down on them. Remember in Independence Day, when the aliens came and all of the nations and religions and creeds forgot their differences and came together to fight them? The same concept is at work here.
This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, who is awesome.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Always on point Amy, but I would like to point out some facts.
First only 2 out of the 8 people on this show are from NJ. The rest are Staten Island trash that New York cannot keep in its borders.
The word “Guido” is a derogatory comment right up there with dago. It is a stereotype, that sadly even in the 21st century we are stuck with. Like all stereotypes, most of what is believed has no basis in fact or reality. It has a long history of being used a pejorative against any and all Italians (regardless of fist pumping or tans)
I do live in NJ, I see these idiots all summer long. In NJ we refer to them as “Benny’s” They come “down the shore” drive like morons and make everyone generally crazy as they park like shit and start fights in bars.
Anyway let’s change the terms and see if its fair then. If MTV had made this show about African Americans living out stereotypes, or Jewish people living out stereotype or “Micks on the Make” about drunken Irish blokes in NYC, the show NEVER would have aired.
(FYI its not the fist pumping that cause Domino’s to split. Apparently, next week’s episode has one female cast member being punched in the face by a male cast member. Domino’s had an endorsement deal with Chris Brown)
What “Benny’s” are like before they go to the bar!
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1767460
Enjoy!
Anyway let’s change the terms and see if its fair then. If MTV had made this show about African Americans living out stereotypes, or Jewish people living out stereotype or “Micks on the Make” about drunken Irish blokes in NYC, the show NEVER would have aired. –
Flava of love, heck, any predominantly black cast reality tv show shows black stereotypes.