Looking back at The Jerry Springer Show, it all seems a bit tame, doesn't it?

When you compare it to current TV hits like Winner Takes All Housefire Dash or Hey, Grandma! Show Me Your Tits Or Else The Sun Explodes, the ol' Jezmeister is in danger of looking like yesterday's news.

The only thing The Jerry Springer Show has been notable for in recent years, in fact, was when it was parodied in controversial theatre production Jerry Springer: The Opera. This, of course, attracted all sorts of Christian protesters outside performances, angry with the apparent blasphemous tone of the show. Or maybe they were just a bit uppity because everyone's starting to realise that God doesn't exist and Jesus was probably just a mad wandering hippy. Something like that.

The point is this: Springer has to up his game. He needs a new idea. Perhaps a show in which contestants are hooked up to lie detectors in order to have their deepest darkest secrets dragged out of them?

Yeah, that'll do.

Springer is apparently all set to:

… coax secrets from participants in front of friends and family on Sky One's Nothing But the Truth.

Sounds like a bit of mildly diverting TV filler, right? Weeeelllll… that's until you hear the questions the guests are going to be asked:

Questions will include "Do you love one of your children more than the other?" and "Have you ever worn your wife's underwear without her knowing?"

Jesus Christ – 'do you love one of your children more than the other?' Why don't they go the whole hog – 'would you shag the family dog if told to at gunpoint?' 'Would you bother saving your rich, inheritance-promising Mother In Law if she started choking and you were the only other one in the room?' 'Would you happily give away your son's college fund if it meant that you could turn invisible and follow Jessica Alba around all day?'

God only knows what sort of humiliation TV contestants will be putting themselves through next. Hecklerspray confidentially expects to turn on the box and be greeted with All-Leper Piss-Drink Action Half-Hour, in which Jenny from Rochester has to lap up the urine of an infected peasant just to be in with a chance of winning a shiny new speedboat or set of steak knives.

Mind you – probably be more fun than 8 Out Of Ten Cats, wouldn't it?

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Springer Joins Lie Detector Show - BBC