It’s nothing new for Jeremy Clarkson to make children cry – in fact parents often use images of Clarkson’s hair and wardrobe choices to scare their children into paying attention at school.
But one lucky child claims that Jeremy Clarkson recently made him cry for a whole new reason. Specifically because Jeremy Clarkson screamed “I will hunt you down and rip your fucking head off,” at him.
And all because the boy took a photo of Jeremy Clarkson asleep on a beach. Why did Jeremy Clarkson overreact so furiously to a sleeping picture? Was it because he’s an avowed defender of human rights and privacy laws, or was it because he’s a drooler? He’s a drooler, isn’t he. He certainly looks like one.
Should Jeremy Clarkson suddenly lose his lucrative careers presenting shouty TV show about cars and writing a million near-identical books called things like Jeremy Clarkson: I Don’t Know Why I Bother and Jeremy Clarkson: Pffff, Typical, he’d be perfectly suited for a job as a Dickensian child-catcher.
Actually, that’s a little unfair. Child-catchers usually succeed at catching children by being creepily nice to them and offering them lollipops, whereas Jeremy Clarkson tends to just go mental at kids until they run away crying. He’d be a shit child catcher. We apologise.
Honestly, Jeremy Clarkson is developing a bit of a reputation around children. Not so long ago Jeremy Clarkson got in trouble with police when he picked a a boy up and screamed at him, just because the boy looked at him funny. And now it’s alleged that Clarkson’s been at it again.
According to reports, Jeremy Clarkson recently launched into a foul-mouthed rant at 12-year-old Tom Dickman because he’d used his new camera to take a picture of Jeremy Clarkson asleep on a beach. And Jeremy Clarkson’s response? Well, this:
“Are you the little fucker that took my picture? If you do that again or it goes on the internet I will hunt you down and rip your fucking head off.”
And if it wasn’t bad enough that Tom Dickman was screamed at by an irate man with a perm and a mouth that looks like the results of a terrorist attack on a ceramic factory, the poor boy’s Dad appears to be a tiresome gobby wanker as well, as the Sunday Mirror reports:
Tom ran to his dad Chris in tears. The 37-year-old garage owner, from Hitchin, Herts., said: “I saw it all happen. Tom was a huge fan of Top Gear and Clarkson was his hero. He watched the show every week and even asked me to buy him the DVDs for Christmas and birthdays. Clarkson’s reaction was out of order. He utterly humiliated and scared my son. Who the hell does Clarkson think he is?… I used to think Top Gear was great – but I won’t watch it ever again.”
What with this recent spate of child-scaring, we wouldn’t be surprised if Jeremy Clarkson soon becomes a kind of urban myth for parents who want to stop their kids from misbehaving. Basically a bit like the bogeyman who lives under your bed, except one with a distinct war cry that sounds quite a lot like petty-minded muttering about immigrants and recycling and local governments. Or somthing.
Read more:
Jeremy Clarkson in four-letter rant to boy, 12 – Sunday Mirror
cj says
I LOVE JD
Mike ! says
I know tom !! i never thought this was real :D ……. ye but jeremy clarkson is a car fucking dick!
John says
I would have never thought Jeremy Clarkson was such an unvirtuous meek little human being.
What a profoundly dishonorable thing to do.
It is all too obvious that Jeremy has lost touch with how to behave with integrity and strength of character.
In my eyes he will forever be a sorry excuse for a human being after this incident. It’s a shame, I liked topgear, but from now on it will be hard to be amused by the man who I know has done this to a child.
Johnny says
JC is ace!
me says
Do you honestly believe in all of this tabloid nonsence? Honestly? I mean think if it would be true the story would appear on the likes of daily mail and etc..
Anton says
If anyone is overreacting its the boy and his father, he was probably even sarcastic… God people are such babies, “I will never watch the show again”…
Cornwall K. says
I liked Hammond and May, oh, and the guys from Fifth Gear as well. But Clarkson is suck an ass. In the top 10 douchebags of 2009, he could be ranked #4 or something, alone side Kayne West.
Clarkson even harasses Hammond about Porsches. And I hate that.
j says
i know how jezza acts ,for example a woman slamed a pie in his face and he acted calmly saying “great shot” and didnt get mad if anything he probably said im gona hunt you down and kill you but in a kiding maner he always sais that or somebody made it up to make ppl think bad about him
noah says
this is hilarious. here’s the thing guys: Clarkson does not give a shit, you all do!
Luc says
I agree with noah. +1 on the hilarious part
Seriously guys, Clarkson is sarcastic most of the time. How many times has he claimed that someone has “committed suicide” after being beaten on the Top Gear lap time board. He’s a funny guy and I would bet that he was just fooling around. I’ll be a fan of Top Gear for life no matter what Clarkson, Hammond or May do.
Lauren says
I looooove Jeremy Clarkson!!!!!
Tom Penison says
Clarkson is more badass than anyone could ever imagine. Fuck kids, they are annoying.
JOSH :D says
Jeremy rules! he is hilarious and probably joking around, people need to calm down.
Y0 Momma says
It was only a damn kid! Jeremy was on holiday and didn’t want to be bothered. How about I come to your place and start taking pictures of you without permission being half naked? Would you like that? I should hope not. Ban the show if you want but he’s human PEOPLE DO THESE THINGS. Get over it.
scott says
Fat piece of shit proves yet again he’s a fat piece of shit, news at 11.
bodine says
Any child looking at that elongated out of proportion shit face would be brought to tears. Looking at that asshole is enough to make make his own mother commit suicide!
Bodine is a hater!! says
Bodine your just a hater because your mum doesn’t love you and refused you her titty!
So shut the fuk up and get out!!!
yep says
Oh come on, Jeremy has just as many issues as anyone else, but he makes more money than you so he has to be perfect? Who cares, did he hurt anyone? No. “Oh but he hurt the kids feelings” holy Christ baby boomers on down to my generation cry about nasty looks from the girl at the other lunch table. GET OVER WORDS PEOPLE CAN SAY WHAT THEY WANT, if u are that sensitive you wouldn’t last a second if this nanny state world broke down.
Josh says
Even if this did happen I still love top gear and everyone on it.