Jennifer Lopez, my how we’ve watched you grow.
It seems only yesterday you were hangin’ with Puff Daddy with your corn rows and white jeans while he didn’t shoot Tupac. Then came the Ben Affleck phase, which cursed us all with morphing celebrity couple names into one obnoxious word, but you moved on to get married to a gaunt lizard man like Marc Anthony and have babies like we always hoped you would.
Well, looks like there’s nothing left for you to do. What’s that, Jennifer Lopez? You’re making a reality show? No. Listen carefully – there’s nothing left for you to do.
Admit it. You know the words to at least one Jennifer Lopez song. It’s okay. It’s not your fault, because Jennifer Lopez has gotten her mitts into all genres of entertainment and money making. There’s no avoiding the infestation to some degree. Our society owes a great debt to Jennifer Lopez for so many things: combining celebrity couple names like Bennifer, butt appreciation, new heights of studio-altered music, and an array of simply horrible movies. She even has her own fragrance line and whatnot. The smell of lilies and Marc Anthony’s embalming fluid have never really appealed to us, but to each their own.
Anyway, Jennifer Lopez seemed to slip under the radar somewhat after she married Marc Anthony and his apparent tax problems. Pictures of her would regularly surface of when she’d dare to take a quick rest from sucking in her stomach and the media would declare her as impregnated. Yawn. Where’s the Jenny from the block? The Jenny with spunk that will gladly perform live with her husband, showcasing her abysmal ability to sing live and still step out in public? And most importantly, where’s the sellout Jenny?
Oh. She’s right here. TLC has announced that Jennifer Lopez will help produce, create, and star in what is being referred to as a ‘docu-series’ which will demonstrate Jennifer’s ability to balance work, babies, and constantly keeping her husband away from direct sunlight and cloves of garlic. She’s a busy gal. The series is already in production, but an air date has yet to be announced
We wish Jennifer Lopez and her family the best with this new endeavour. Everyone knows that the best thing for a celebrity’s personal life is a reality show. Just ask Nick Lachey and his wife Jessica Simpson, or Carmen Electra and her husband Dave Navarro, or the drummer from Blink 182 and his wife, or any of the well adjusted kids from Laguna Beach and The Hills. Exploitation onward!
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Heezy says
This post is too funny. This show reminds of Kimora Lee’s “Life In the Fab Lane.”