Jennifer Lopez Has Party For Husband, Seems To Want Medal For It

Fresh from riding a bike around Malibu and expecting everyone to be impressed, Jennifer Lopez has thrown a great big party for Marc Anthony’s 40th birthday.

We know. Marc Anthony is only 40. Weird, isn’t it? To look at his wizened old face we’d have thought that he was at least 80, or maybe 75 if he’d led an especially hard life. But no, Marc Anthony is apparently 40 and so Jennifer Lopez got to throw a party for him.

We don’t know how Jennifer Lopez does it. She’s the mother of six-month-old twins, she recently took part in a triathlon and she’s also thrown a party for Marc Anthony. How on earth does she manage it all? What’s that? Jennifer Lopez is a millionaire who can afford the best nannies, personal fitness trainers and party organisers that money can buy? Oh. We thought it might have been because of her bum or something.

Jennifer Lopez has had many men in her life. No really, she’s had loads of men. Loads of them. It’s borderline obscene. Ugh, Jennifer Lopez you dirty girl.

Anyway, none of these relationships have ever turned out to be very good. One husband tried to write a book about how Jennifer Lopez had sex until he was sued into submission. Other boyfriends have publicly declared their relationship with Jennifer Lopez to be the worst period of their lives. And, one poor unnamed sap lost his mind completely after being with Jennifer Lopez, and some say he can still be seen spinning round in his garden and screaming about politicians.

However, there is one man who Jennifer Lopez loves with all her heart, and that’s her current husband Marc Anthony. Jennifer and Marc do everything together – make substandard films, go on underwhelming tours, produce overpaid babies – and so it was always fair that, for Marc Anthony’s 40th birthday, Jennifer Lopez pulled out all the stops for a great big lovely birthday party for him.

Yes, this is news. Play along. People reports:

The party featured stripper Dita Von Teese, a salsa orchestra, mojitos and showgirls in feather headdresses,. The couple’s friends and family danced the night away, including Brooke Shields and husband Chris Henchy. Says Shields with a laugh: “Jennifer is amazing. I did a triathlon once in college but for me a triathlon is now eating, drinking and sleeping.” Adds pal Leah Remini, “The party is over the top. It’s pure Jennifer.”

Wow. Jennifer Lopez, Brooke Shields and the mouthy one from King of Queens all in the same room together. That sounds fun and not at all life-sapping. We’re sure Marc Anthony had a great time.

But still we think we understand the point of Jennifer Lopez’s party for Marc Anthony, and that point is ‘Hey, check Jennifer Lopez out!’ She’s a party organiser, a mother, an athlete, a wife, a singer, a dancer, an entrepreneur… is there anything that Jennifer Lopez can’t do?

What’s that? Star in films that don’t make us want to bludgeon our skulls in with housebricks? Yeah, that’s it. We knew there was something.

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Comments

  1. Shooty* says

    I thought Von Teese had to be referred to as “burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese”, not “stripper”. It’s contractual, or something. I think.