The Dallas movie is one of the most highly-anticipated movies of the next few years, as people just can't wait to see a po-faced remake of a schlocky 1980s TV show about a moron in a big hat and his appalling drunk wife.
And one of the things we were most looking forward to in the Dallas movie – because God knows it wasn't the prospect of staring at John Travolta's big smug moonface for two hours – was the inclusion of Jennifer Lopez as Sue Ellen Ewing. Because, face it, who wouldn't like to see Jennifer Lopez mashed off her box on booze having it off with a bunch of men until someone shoots her? Well, those fantasies will have to stay trapped in your depraved little mind, since Jennifer Lopez has dropped out of the Dallas movie.
The gestation of the Dallas movie has had just as many ups and down as the TV show it was based on – although great swathes of it weren't passed off as a dream and nobody has shot themselves in the chest after seeing an angel in a mirror that quickly turned into a scary devil, but you get the picture. Just about all of Hollywood has been attached to Dallas at one point or another, but various changes have meant that the woman in charge of Bend It Like Beckham is now going to direct Dallas and, thankfully, Jessica Simpson didn't get the Dallas role she was after. But the double-header of John Travolta and Jennifer Lopez as JR and Sue Ellen Ewing always looked secure.
Goes to show what you know – Jennifer Lopez wants nothing more to do with Dallas. An explanation is needed for this, so let's see what loyal Lopez slave Leslie Sloane-Zelnick has to say on the matter, since she's always a wealth of assistance:
"She is out of Dallas."
Yeah, great. In fact, it's a bit of a mystery why Jennifer Lopez has decided to drop out of the Dallas remake. Perhaps she wanted to dedicate more time to making Heather Mills McCartney angry or stopping her ex-husband writing a book about her while she writes one about how tough it is to be as famous and pretty as her. Or maybe the Dallas budget wouldn't stretch to building a shower cubicle big enough to accommodate her gigantic bum. We just don't know.
So now the search is on to find Jennifer Lopez's replacement as Sue Ellen Ewing in the Dallas movie. Or, more importantly, a woman who can bear spending a few months working with John Travolta, Luke Wilson and Shirley MacClaine.
Read more:
J.Lo Ditches Dallas – E! Online
[story by Stuart Heritage]