Jennifer Lawrence: Actors Are Ugly And Brits Talk Funny

Jennifer Lawrence, you may not remember her at all from X-Men: First Class, has a face, functioning limbs and a mouth in which she can talk with. It’s the latter we’re interested in as she makes huge, sweeping generalisations for our amusement.

And it involves actors and the awful, pale citizens of Britain.

Basically, she doesn’t think actors are attractive and that everyone in Britain talks funny, which is obviously endearing AND invariably means ‘English people’, rather than the whole of Britain (because no-one could possibly find anyone from Dundee or Belfast endearing).

See, Jennifer doesn’t understand the appeal of dating a thespian. Full marks to anyone who immediately thought ‘lesbian’ when reading that previous sentence.

She said:

“I’ve never been into actors before. Seriously, I don’t find myself attracted to them, which is a weird thing to say when you’re dating one.”

Wait. WHAT?

It doesn’t matter what actor she’s swapping spit with, fact is, like most people who live in Hollywood, Jennifer finds the allure of a Briton hard to resist.

It’s the allure of wonky teeth, sarcasm, mild racism and nihilism that does it, obviously.

“Well, they have these wonderful manners, and everything they say is funnier, just because of the accent. I like the way that accent changes, too. There’s the cute, ‘I’m trying to be adorable because I know that you’re mad at me’ accent – and then the drunk accent where all the consonants have vanished.”

Okay. She’s been listening to someone who is a drunk, but also, someone who may play it cute while being infuriating. Who could she be talking about?

SILLY US! She clearly fancies Prince Phillip!

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Comments

  1. nau says

    Jennifer Lawrence is overrated. She’s a cave woman. Ghastly manners and tends to put her foot in her mouth one time too many. I mean what proper young lady talks publicly about peeing in the woods? Others may find her “grounded” and “cool” but I see her for what she is. An awkward, unsophisticated plain Jane who got lucky.

  2. Brushyourfuckingteethbrits says

    Gee, nau, jealous much. Or are you just pissed that your shit country’s empire went down the loo? You jackoffs still have “royalty”- a bunch of useless inbred parasites. She ought to put her foot in YOUR mouth. Maybe it’d cause some damage and give you an excuse to get your disgusting choppers repaired. Twat.

  3. I'llGiveHerAPassForNow says

    She’s 22 and she seems relatively harmless, at least at this point. She also seems pretty humble. So I cut her some slack. However, she’s a “young” 22 — i.e., she still thinks speaking without a filter makes her come off as being more “real.” Plenty of movie-goers and followers of pop culture apparently agree, too. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen comments on blog posts from people proclaiming Lawrence is their new “girl crush.”
    Judging by the roles she’s played so far, she’s a fair actress. But she’s already being touted as some sort of Hollywood legend-in-the-making, which is (a) premature and (b) likely won’t turn out to be true. The way Hollywood runs through its starlets nowadays, I wouldn’t at all be surprised if her career hits a plateau in the near future and she gradually falls off the map. Overexposure is rampant in Tinseltown in this day and age.
    Looks-wise, I think she’s attractive in a very average way. She’s tall and has curves where they matter most on a woman, so she’s automatically branded as bombshell material. But if she weren’t a publicized actress, I don’t think she’d be getting pegged as a beauty. I certainly wouldn’t care to get another look if I passed her on the street. She looks like your normal, dime-a-dozen, all-American girl. Then again, maybe that’s exactly what makes her so appealing to audiences.
    Sidenote: @Brushyourfuckingteethbrits — You seem in dire need of anger management therapy. You presumably get satisfaction from sitting behind a computer screen and spewing vitriol against a blog author whose criticism of Lawrence is actually quite mild. How sad that our world is inhabited by so many like you. Way to make a statement with your screenname, btw. I bet you think it’s clever.

  4. nau says

    Bahahahahaha. I must be soooooo good for you to jump to conclusions and immediately assume that I was English. Hahahahahaha. And basing from YOUR vocabulary, you must be an American. Congratulations on using the word LOO, though. I hope you didn’t get a nosebleed from using it.Hahahahahaha. Pathetic!