Jennifer Lawrence, you may not remember her at all from X-Men: First Class, has a face, functioning limbs and a mouth in which she can talk with. It’s the latter we’re interested in as she makes huge, sweeping generalisations for our amusement.
And it involves actors and the awful, pale citizens of Britain.
Basically, she doesn’t think actors are attractive and that everyone in Britain talks funny, which is obviously endearing AND invariably means ‘English people’, rather than the whole of Britain (because no-one could possibly find anyone from Dundee or Belfast endearing).
See, Jennifer doesn’t understand the appeal of dating a thespian. Full marks to anyone who immediately thought ‘lesbian’ when reading that previous sentence.
“I’ve never been into actors before. Seriously, I don’t find myself attracted to them, which is a weird thing to say when you’re dating one.”
It doesn’t matter what actor she’s swapping spit with, fact is, like most people who live in Hollywood, Jennifer finds the allure of a Briton hard to resist.
It’s the allure of wonky teeth, sarcasm, mild racism and nihilism that does it, obviously.
“Well, they have these wonderful manners, and everything they say is funnier, just because of the accent. I like the way that accent changes, too. There’s the cute, ‘I’m trying to be adorable because I know that you’re mad at me’ accent – and then the drunk accent where all the consonants have vanished.”
Okay. She’s been listening to someone who is a drunk, but also, someone who may play it cute while being infuriating. Who could she be talking about?
SILLY US! She clearly fancies Prince Phillip!