Jennifer Hudson In ‘Gets Engaged To Bloke’ Shock

Jennifer Hudson’s a wildcat, isn’t she. For instance, remember that time she got drunk, punched a bear in the face and then skateboarded down the Eiffel Tower?

You don’t? Well, that’s because it never happened. Jennifer Hudson isn’t a wildcat at all. Jennifer Hudson is a bit boring. In fact, it’s impossible to make Jennifer Hudson interesting. Jennifer Hudson wouldn’t even be interesting if she sneezed fireworks and farted mice.

Having said that, Jennifer Hudson has just announced her engagement to David Otunga, who’s apparently a man of some sort. And, let’s be fair, that is interesting, provided that a) you know who David Otunga is, b) you care enough about Jennifer Hudson to invest in her personal life and c) you’re a gormless dumdum of the absolute highest order.

If you look at Jennifer Hudson’s accomplishments, she’s actually achieved quite a lot. She’s been an American Idol finalist, she’s won 29 awards including an Oscar for her first-ever film role, the city of Chicago has named a day after her and she starred in the Sex And The City movie so she’s probably seen Kim Cattrall‘s baps quite close up.

But has any of that phased Jennifer Hudson? No it hasn’t. Or perhaps maybe it has. The truth is that nobody knows if any of that has phased Jennifer Hudson or not because nobody cares enough about Jennifer Hudson to find out.

Forget about Jennifer Hudson being so boring that the only way she could be more boring is for her to reclassify herself as algae, though, because Jennifer Hudson’s only gone and got engaged.

Who to? Well, since Jennifer Hudson is an Oscar-winning actress, we’re sure she’s had her pick of the A-list. That’s why her new fiance is David Otunga, who’s apparently from the reality TV show I Love New York 2. If you haven’t seen I Love New York 2, it’s a lot like I Love New York 1. And if you haven’t seen I Love New York 1 then congratulations, because you now share something in common with every single human being alive. MTV reports:

Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson and boyfriend, David Otunga, got engaged over the weekend. The couple’s rep spoke exclusively to People magazine saying “I can confirm that Jennifer got engaged to her boyfriend David on Friday night in L.A.”

Apparently David Otunga proposed to Jennifer Hudson with a diamond engagement ring on her 27th birthday which seems to us like a bit of a cop-out, like the sort of thing you do when you don’t know what present to buy them. Chances are David Otunga was backwards and forwards between a marriage proposal and some HMV vouchers for quite some time.

Anyway, no date has been set for Jennifer Hudson’s marriage. Or maybe it has. We really don’t think we’ve got it in us to actually go and check, you know.