Jennifer Hudson is still relatively new to this fame thing, so we can forgive her for not knowing all the rules.

Like pregnancy, for example. Jennifer Hudson didn’t inform the media of her pregnancy. That’s fine if you do a J-Lo and swan about for the full pregnancy in a series of increasingly ridiculous outfits. But Jennifer Hudson didn’t do that – she just got pregnant, shut up and then had a baby.

Well two can play at that game. We’re saying nothing about the baby. Apart from this. And the six paragraphs after this. But that’s it, you hear? For today.

You can tell a lot about a celebrity by the names they choose for their children. If they give a child a regular name like Kevin or Mark, they’re either normal or hopelessly unimaginative. If, on the other hand, they call their child Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa, then they’re Lisa Bonet and words can’t express the pity we feel for the child.

But if a celebrity gives their baby exactly the same name as its father, well then that sounds like a sign of massive egomania. So congratulations to Jennifer Hudson and her uncontrollable egomaniacal lunatic of a fiance David Otunga, because they’ve just welcomed baby David Otunga Jr into the world. MSNBC reports:

“The baby is beautiful and perfect,” says Hudson’s rep Lisa Kasteler. “His parents are ecstatic.” David weighed in at 7 lbs., 14 oz., and is the first child for Hudson and her fiancé David Otunga. The couple kept the sex of the baby a delivery surprise.

That’s David the child who weighs 7 lbs., 14 oz, not David the father. At least we assume so – we don’t think we’ve ever seen a picture of David Otunga, and Jennifer Hudson notoriously likes to keep her personal life private, so for all we know she’s getting married to a man with the exact weight and dimensions of a newborn baby. This same name business is going to get very confusing – especially when we run that ‘David Otunga Craps In His Nappy’ story. And, trust us, we are going to run that story.

Regardless of that, though, Jennifer Hudson’s pregnancy was marked by a staunch unwillingness to confirm her state to the media, only allowing for a tiny amount of speculation at the Michael Jackson memorial concert. While at the time that may have felt like the right thing to do – giving her the opportunity to experience the magic of pregnancy without the stress of any external pressures – there’s a good chance that Jennifer Hudson will regret it in later years.

Because, really, nobody wants to wake up one morning filled with the crippling guilt that comes because they didn’t roll around in a sandbox full of blusher, then put on a manky jacket and jut out their veiny, oversized gut on the cover of an internationally-read magazine like Christina Aguilera did. And Jennifer Hudson is sadly going to have to live with that for the rest of her life.

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