Like a bad made-for-TV movie, Jennifer Aniston is an ordinary woman who woke up one morning to find she couldn’t remember a single thing that happened to her in the early nineties.
Anyone who’ s seen Leprechaun is probably wondering how in the name of Miley Cyrus’ front wedgie can that ever be a bad thing, but it does help to have a working memory of your own face if a reporter ever happens to ask you about your attitude to plastic surgery.
In an interview with Yahoo Beauty Editor Bobbi Brown – so that’s what he’s been up to since splitting with Whitney – Jennifer reveals that her and hot fiance Justin Theroux are totally against going under the knife, and that in her own words ‘he will put a gun to my head if I touch my face in any way’.
Imagine checking yourself out the mirror and feeling the man you love walk up behind you, wrap his arms around your waist and gently whisper in your ear ‘I will shoot you if you ever get Botox’. Some people find that romantic, I guess.
She goes on to vent her frustrations at the people in her life who are sporting designer faces.
“I don’t judge it if you do it, but sometimes I wish I could beg the people I know, who I am very near and dear to, to not touch their face.”
‘I’d never get Botox’ actually ranks just behind ‘I had a deviated septum’ and just above ‘Sorry Officer, I thought that white stuff was gum’ in the list of top lies told by celebrities. Hey, speaking of deviated septum, remember when Jennifer Aniston’s nose looked like this?
Truly a tragedy that she’s lost so much of her long term memory. Maybe someone should warn Katherine Heigl that one of the possible side effects of doing excessive amounts of romantic comedies is dramatic memory loss.
Remember, kids – Marley and Me. Not even once.