Jennifer Aniston Didn’t Sign Up for a Tabloid “Soap Opera” – Sure, Jennifer

Jennifer Aniston is rather famous, rather fetching, and rather wealthy. All that is jolly nice, and we’re ruddy pleased for her that her life’s so smashing.

She kind of wants the extent of your knowledge about her to end with that; the knowledge that she’s a pretty lady who stars in lovely movies with eligible, and often recently single, leading men. Don’t go trying to find out anything more about her. Don’t you dare. She’ll know. All that stuff you looked up on her, on Wikipedia. Ooh. We’re telling. Jennifer seems to have developed something of a chip on her shoulder, when it comes to being in the tabloids.

Aniston, who’s in a movie that we advise you do not see unless you want to risk her wrath, is on the promotional circuit at the moment. We risked our lives, so you didn’t have to, and checked out an interview that she did on Good Morning America.

Jennifer explains that life as a celebrity is “a soap opera that you do not sign up for”. Yes, you read that right. Suitably dolled up for her appearance, at a time in the morning when most of the US is probably still begging for another five minutes kip, Jennifer complains about the perils of fame. She explains further that one needs a tough skin and a front put on especially for the media to survive. Lest your life become as hilariously dichotomous as hers.

Jennifer on GMA (via Cele|Bitchy)

On ?the tabloid chatter?: When asked about the tabloid chatter, Aniston asked ?what chatter? I hear about it, I don?t read it. You have to get better over time. You have to? build up a tough skin?. We work really hard on our jobs? you don?t want to be known as sort of a ?tabloid face.? That sort of distracts from what you do and what you work really hard at. Which is our movies? It?s almost like another job that you have not chosen to be a part of. It?s a soap opera that you do not sign up for.?

Think about this for one moment. Her life is horrid, we’ll have you know. Just horrid.

She has to get tarted up at obscene times in the morning, promote her new movie, and stave off tabloid rumours about romances with co-stars. Co-stars like Gerard Butler. Rumours like those started by the director of her new movie, in hopes of drumming up more business. Oh, the humanity.

Jennifer looks like she’s doing just peachy to us. But then we aren’t the ones under a microscope and crying into our pillows made out of money (or relaxing in our bath tubs filled with money). It’s just awful, to be in a nightmare of your own making.

We’re not silly. Oi – Jennifer – we’re not the most sympathetic bunch and you’ll get nothing but further ridicule from us. Why don’t you cry on the shoulder of chronic fame-whoring self-publicist Megan Fox. She’s gonna turn into you one day. Perhaps the two of you would be better talking this out amongst yourselves.

This was a guest blog by Any Grindhouse. Hooray!

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