In a stunning turn of events that no one saw coming, former porn star, Jenna Jameson, has recently made a series of ridiculous life choices so she could make some money. Recently, Jameson announced that she would be returning to porn “for her kids,” and her ex-husband is auctioning off some of her old sex toys (used dildo: $1500, chlamydia: free) to make money. Where do I even start with this shit?
Jameson is easily one of the most famous porn stars of all time and has even achieved mainstream success with her New York Times bestseller How To Make Love Like a Porn Star?(which I read and actually really enjoyed). She was the queen of the billion dollar porn industry for a while, so you’d think she’d maybe have some of that money saved up. Well, apparently not.
Like a million years ago, Jameson quit porn to settle down and said she would “never ever ever spread [her] legs again in this industry,” however, just this past Sunday night she told TMZ some sob story about how she was getting back into porn to support her family. Jameson has twin four-year-old boys with UFC champion, Tito Ortiz, so you’d think between the two of them they could afford some Kraft Dinner for their kids.
On an episode of Oprah’s Where Are They Now? that aired earlier this year, Jameson said:
“I’ve had a lot of people question me saying, ‘Why haven’t you made a comeback? It’d be easy for you to make multi-millions off of one or two scenes.’?And to be honest, I made a promise to my children when they were in my tummy that there is no way I would ever, ever, ever go back.”
After swearing she’d never return to porn for the sake of her kids, Jenna Jameson had decided to return to porn…for her kids!?
Ortiz and Jameson aren’t together anymore since apparently she got drunk and beat up on his ass, and she recently lost her $1.8 million mansion to foreclosure, so I get that things aren’t great for Jenna Jameson right now, but maybe she should’ve thought of her financial situation when she was spending all that money on the bad shit and cheap plastic surgery (cheap plastic surgery adds up if you get it ten thousand times).
Sadly, it’s not Jenna Jameson’s return to porn that I find remotely disgusting. Her ex-husband, Jay Grdina (way to forget a vowel in your last name, asshole) is auctioning off sex toys used by Jameson in her films.?He’s selling G-strings, sexy leather fetish gear, and even dildos. I’d like to think that Jameson herself wasn’t involved in this auctioning shit, but at this point I wouldn’t be surprised, especially since she’s taken no legal action against him for doing this. I feel like someone that was desperate for cash would sue any and every ho they could.
Also, I feel bad for all the pervs that will buy this shit. Some sad guy is going to buy a pair of panties to jack off into and think of Jameson in her glory days, when she was the hottest bitch in porn and looked like the incredibly sexy girl next door:
But, we all know she doesn’t look like that anymore. I used to think that Jenna Jameson was a mega hot babe, but now I just think she looks like Tan Mom, who is the real E-List celebrity I’d like to be writing about right now. I mean, just look at them!
I have officially decided that the only way I will support Jenna Jameson’s return to porn is if she agrees to do a porn with Tan Mom. She needs to bring back the Loves Jenna series! To hell with Briana Loves Jenna, let’s see some Tan Mom Loves Jenna! She’s sure to make her millions back!
Robyn Astby says
Honestly! I don’t know why you give these Sluts the time of day. She’s had her day in the Sun. We don’t want to hear about these Sluts.
robert says
seriously? since when is the letter “i” NOT a vowel??? I cant believe you called him an asshole about no vowel in his name,… and there IS a vowel. you, sir, are a dumbass. (there’s 2 vowels in dumbass.)
Avi says
Oh, Robert, you’re a doofus . The author obviously meant that there’s no vowel between the “g” and “r” in Grdina’s last name, not that there’s no vowels at all. It’s hilarious that you’re quick to call someone a dumb ass when you don’t get the joke and don’t realize that dumb ass is two words. You sir are a moron.
And to the first commenter, are you aware that neither “slut” nor “sun” are proper nouns? There’s no need to capitalize those words. Your misogyny is cute though. You probably jerk your tiny meat to Jenna on a regular basis and would bust a huge nut if you saw in real life (where, undoubtedly, she would reject you. Even in her altered and sad current state) but are quick to call her and any other woman a slut because you can’t have her. Do the world a favor, castrate yourself so you don’t breed and construct a Unabomber shack somewhere in the woods and remove yourself from society. It’s Madonna/whore complex havin’ fuckers like you who bring down the entire IQ of the planet.