For millions of years, men and women have had sexy time and produced offspring in the form of children.

At some point in a woman’s life they will want to mate with their respective partner. Either they want to take a step back from everything or let their children carry on their legacy.

Former porn star Jenna Jameson finally breathed a sigh of relief this week when her twin boys escaped the womb. Obviously we expect mother and father to be ecstatically overcome with joy, but when the youngsters grow up, talks about the birds and the bees could be quite interesting.

Unless you happen to be a nun, a vicar or someone who has never accidentally typed xxx into Google, you’ll know who Jenna Jameson is. She’s the legendary lady who has done many a thing to arouse many a man, woman and teenager using a variety of props along the way. The variety of films she’s starred in with multiple people of both sexes and strange-looking objects are endless.

Legions of perverts were all left bitterly disappointed when Jenna announced that her legs would be welded shut forever at a porn award ceremony last year. Sales of tissues were reportedly on the rise as thousands of people had a solitary cry in the comfort of a darken room alongside copies of bongo magazines and their Jenna Jameson DVD collection.

For the unnamed children, they aren’t in the know as of yet, but they have been born into a family with a healthy bit of money behind it. You’d have thought that once you see the same woman being shagged countless times, it would get boring. Apparently not it seems as Jenna is the queen of all things porn-related like Keane are the bedwetters of music.

Fast forward to 2023. This will be the time when her youngsters, feeling the hormones flow, will type in rude words on the internet. Or if we’ve advanced a bit, their personal interactive mobility gizmo. Imagine the look of surprise on their faces if the first result for “white chick cock orgy” throws up an image of their mum. Worryingly, all their friends will be able to tease the twins and boast that they saw their mum naked without accidentally wandering into the bathroom to have a slash. More than likely, this has been used as plotline in one of her filth films.

To possibly numb the pain for her children, Jenna could possibly explain what she did for a living at a bring your mother to school day when the boys are slightly younger. More than likely, the other children’s fathers will take a great interest in the talk as she explains how to fully fit a 12” dildo up her chuff or gives advice on what techniques are the best for anal. Besides, it’ll be more interesting than listening to someone talking about the wonders of banking.

The former bongo star gave birth at Newport Beach Hospital a few days ago, and a rep for Jenna Jameson said the following vague statement:

“They’re in very good health”.

It can only be assumed that the infants are doing OK, but what the mother herself? Sure, she’s used to various objects entering her love tunnel, but what about when things try to get out? Because we’ve never experienced the joys of child birth, we can only assume it’ll hurt quite a bit when trying to push a big object out of a small hole. And she had to do it twice. Ouch.

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