Jay-Z Turns Beyonce From A ‘Beaaatch’ Into A Wifey
Then buzz it up
April 5th, 2008 at 18:25 by hecklerspray staff
Singing businessman Jay-Z has finally made an honest woman of his hitherto ho-beau Beyonce Knowles.
According to People.Com, the couple held a private wedding ceremony at Jay-Z's New York apartment yesterday evening, to which only close friends and family were invited.
They didn’t even have the common decency to invite the press. How are we to trust them? What are they so afraid of us seeing? Would we have found out the service was being funded by Jay-Z’s links to nineteenth century slave trade profiteering?
We’ll never know, because they want to keep it ‘private’. Good luck to the both of you, but any fool can see the seeking of privacy these days is as futile a task as teaching a Frenchman to suck croissant.
An insider told the magazine:
"It happened earlier this evening. Jay wanted it to be a really private affair — close friends and family."
The ceremony was proceeded by a most happening crib party, attended by some fellow named DJ Cassidy - one of Mr Z’s favorites, apparently.
The wedding comes just days after Jay and Beyonce were reported to have secured themselves a marriage license in Scarsdale on April 1. Lots of people thought it was an April fool. Turns out it wasn’t.
So hurrah! And three cheers for the happy couple!
Hip-Hop Ho-way Ho!
Story by Rupert Prickhard-Pamplin
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April 5th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
[...] They didn’t even have the common decency to invite the press. How are we to trust them? What are they so afraid of us seeing? Would we have found out the service was being funded by Jay-Z’s links to nineteenth century slave trade profiteering? (more…) [...]
April 6th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Because Crabby sadly couldn’t be at the swank affair, she did the next best thing: she looked into the marriage’s future with the help of the stars. And I’m sorry to say that if you believe in this stuff, the marriage between this Virgo (her) and Sagitarius (him) look exciting and passionate though not necessarily permanent. A rundown of the astrological aspects at CrabbyGolightly.com.
April 12th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
[...] what with the recent out-of-the-blue wedding reports, pregnancy is the most realistic choice and, according to OK! Magazine, a source close to the [...]