Mary J Blige is the Simon Says of modern celebrity culture – if Blige doesn't pass comment on it then it never really happened.
So with that in mind it's safe to assume that Jay-Z and Beyonce really did get married on Friday, because Mary J Blige kicked off a co-headlining concert with Jay-Z on Saturday by shouting "Congratulations to my man Jay-Z and my girl B!"
Which makes it indisputable that Jay-Z and Beyonce are really married, unless Mary J Blige was congratulating them on something else, of course – like finding buried treasure on a beach with a metal detector, for example, or for making a tiny hat that's the perfect size for a duck's head, or for stringing the world on for so long about whether they're married or not that most people would rather swallow broken glass than think about Jay-Z or Beyonce for another second. Who knows?
Jay-Z and Beyonce are notoriously private about their relationship. So private, in fact, that we don't think we've ever read a single news story about either of them. Ever. Oh no, wait, our mistake – we were thinking about every other couple on the face of the planet.
Jay-Z and Beyonce, you see, are all over the sodding place. If they're not doing guest vocals on each other's songs then they're watching basketball matches or fashion shows together. They're everywhere all the time together. It's just that neither Jay-Z or Beyonce want to tell anyone whether they got married or not.
There have been rumours of Jay-Z/ Beyonce weddings in the past, but last week when they got a marriage license things started to look a little more serious. And they were – on Friday Jay-Z and Beyonce finally got married. Unless they didn't. But they probably did. Maybe. Although they might not've. Oh, who knows?
Alleged steroid-addled superbeing Mary J Blige knows, actually. Taking a rare moment off from endlessly carping on about how difficult her life used to be, Mary J Blige told the crowd at a concert on Saturday that the Jay-Z/ Beyonce wedding was completely genuine. Unless she didn't. But she probably did. People reports:
"Mum was the wedding word from Jay-Z as he hit the stage in North Carolina on Saturday – a day after a friend says he married Beyonce Knowles – revealing nothing about a ceremony and wearing no ring. But co-headliner Mary J. Blige on the Heart of the City tour couldn't maintain the same level of silence, shouting to the sold-out Greensboro audience: 'Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B,' before starting her set with You're All I Need."
See? And if Mary J Blige says that Jay-Z got married to Beyonce, then it really happened. Even though, you know, she didn't say exactly that. But it was heavily implied, and that's enough for us. Unless it turns out later that Jay-Z didn't really get married to Beyonce, in which case we knew all along that Mary J Blige was talking rubbish.
In fact, the more we think about it, the more unlikely it seems that Mary J Blige is telling the truth. A simple congratulations? That's not like her at all. Now, if Mary J Blige had congratulated Jay-Z and Beyonce and then used it to launch into a tedious 20-minute ramble about herself, like she did with Amy Winehouse and Jamie Lynn Spears then perhaps we'd have taken the bait a bit quicker.
So there it is – indisputable proof that Jay-Z and Beyonce didn't get married on Friday. Unless they did get married on Friday. Which they probably did. Unless they didn't.
We hope this helps.
Read more:
Mary J. Blige's Concert Shout-Out to Jay-Z & Beyoncé – People
Herbalife says
Yup! Congrats for JayZ and Beyonce. Nice power couple.
fdfdf says
I’m fed up with hearing about it, just admit it already. Nothing’s written in stone, let it go
rogerson deco says
oh men, thats damn posh, we are just looking forward to it, aha.