Jay Leno Won’t Be Going Away Forever Anytime Soon… Sigh
Then buzz it up
February 28th, 2008 at 16:15 by Annette Hyde
Do you wonder that there isn’t a huge ‘IDIOT’ stamp on the foreheads of some people?
You know who we mean… the people that think Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t rather horsey looking and own Everybody Loves Raymond box sets and use words like ‘exspecially’ and have read all of the Nicholas Sparks books. Well, these are the same people that think Jay Leno is funny – no, really, apparently there are people out there who think that – and now these people are running big huge media networks and are trying to get Jay Leno to come not be funny for them when his contract expires next year.
Oh, forget the stamp. The closest blunt object will do.
You know who it sucks to be right now? Conan O’Brien, that’s who. Four years ago NBC announced that it would replace Jay Leno with Conan O’Brien on the late night circuit in 2009 when everybody’s contracts were up. Conan probably grew accustomed to the congratulatory fruit baskets and Post-Its on his windshield saying ‘Can’t wait for ’09. Keep Smiling’! Now the fruit and love notes have stopped because they all wish they’d just signed Jay Leno on for more years and left Conan sobbing into the inflatable raft his giant head uses as a pillow.
Despite the fact that Jay Leno’s jokes are so predictable and mainstream that we have to re-grow brain cells that have died from boredom, Jay Leno’s ratings are through the roof. He’s the highest rated late night talk show host. We know, we know. We were astonished as well that it was Jay and not Jimmy Kimmel that topped the list. But said ratings have created a great deal of courting for Jay Leno from big name networks like ABC and Fox.
So, what will Jay decide to do with so many delicious career options on his plate? Besides eating them, that is. Nobody knows yet. Leno’s lawyer, said:
“Jay will of course honour his contract obligations to NBC. Jay isn’t talking to anyone about anything and won’t be until it’s contractually proper.”
That’s right, he will honour his obligations and at the contractually proper time he’ll make his decision rolling around in piles of money while wearing a money-suit and smoking money cigars. Probably piles of about $40 million a year, in fact.
Still, it baffles us that Jay Leno is so popular. Maybe everyone’s afraid to not laugh. Maybe they think if they don’t laugh, people will say their prejudice against jutted-chinned people with lisps and will have to go to prejudiced-person rehab like Isaiah Washington and Mel Gibson. Yeesh.
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February 28th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Watching Jay Leno’s ‘comedy’ is like getting drunk without the buzz… All you get are dead brain cells and a foul taste in your mouth. Or so I hear.
Are there really people out there who enjoy the comedy stylings of Jay Leno and Ray Romano? Are they shut-ins? I can’t seem to find anyone who admits to this. Perhaps that’s for the better.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Amen. Leno, O’Brian and Letterman are the TV host equivalent of Madonna - they’re your basic trailer trash humor re-packaged to appear semi-educated and middle class, so they’re a safe bet - in the morning, if you re-tell some of their jokes, you KNOW they’re safe, widely popular, that 99% of the pple around you will agree and like them, it’s a perfect conversational/social fallback.
Try talking to so many people about Bill Maher and his political comments instead, see how fast you get excommunicated - and he is a pretty shallow and lame dude, too, but for the mainstream, he’s wildly extreme. So you flip to Leno - he mocks democrats, repubicans, Romo and Jessica, anyone and everyone, has no positive opinion about anyone, just negative lame jokes, “ha-ha” and you pass out, brainwashed into dreamless sleep so you can be a deserving member of the society next morning.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Yeah, I’m pretty crazy, I talk about talk show hosts that I see on TV. Jave Lenoman? Yeah, I came up with that because they’re basically the same person. Pretty edgy, I know.
Bill Maher is a little closer to how XTREME I am, but only in comparison to the mindless sheeple. Incidentally, have you seen a kind of obscure movie called THE MATRIX?
February 28th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I wishing for the day when Charles Manson is paroled and gets his own talk show.
February 29th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Also, isn’t Gor’s assessment of Leno the most perfect description of hecklerspray you’ve ever read?
February 29th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Let’s see (with paragraph breaks to make it more readable)(hint, hint):
Amen. hecklerspray is the internet site equivalent of Madonna - it’s your basic trailer trash humor re-packaged to appear semi-educated and middle class, so it’s a safe bet - in the morning, if you re-tell some of its jokes, you KNOW they’re safe, widely popular, that 99% of the pple around you will agree and like them, it’s a perfect conversational/social fallback.
Try talking to so many people about Perez Hilton and his entertainment comments instead, see how fast you get excommunicated - and he is a pretty shallow and lame dude, too, but for the mainstream, he’s wildly extreme.
So you browse to hecklerspray - it mocks Britney, Paris, Romo and Jessica, anyone and everyone, has no positive opinion about anyone, just negative lame jokes, “ha-ha” and you pass out, brainwashed into dreamless sleep so you can be a deserving member of the society next morning.
—————–
Holy shit
February 29th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Actually, I think gir’s last line is a pretty accurate description as well. It’s a toss up.
February 29th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
And Whorehey, I know you’re a raging alcoholic, so don’t try to pretend otherwise.
February 29th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
‘Or so I hear’ was in reference to Jay Leno’s comedy. I would never afflict myself with such offensively mediocre dreck.
By the way, I’m not a raging alcoholic. I’m a rage-aholic who drinks too much.