Jamie Foxx No Longer Wishes Miley Cyrus Had Chlamydia

Jamie Foxx, Miley Cyrus, Jamie Foxx Miley CyrusJamie Foxx is a comedian. No, really, he is. He’s a comedian. That’s why The Soloist is such a laugh-riot. He’s a comedian.

You know what that means. Sometimes Jamie Foxx has been known to push the boundaries of taste. Maybe he’ll make an off-colour remark here, or embark upon an entire offensive movie career there. And that’s because Jamie Foxx is a comedian. It’s what he does. But there’s a line.

And that line is roughly located right before you suggest that Miley Cyrus should become a lesbian crack addict, if Jamie’s grovelling apology is anything to go by.

Jamie Foxx is a modern-day renaissance man. We think. ‘Renaissance man’ does mean that you do a lot of things but none of them particularly well, doesn’t it? Anyway, you just need to look at Jamie Foxx’s biography to know we’re right. He’s tried everything – acting on TV, acting in a fairly balanced selection of decent and appalling films, making three R&B albums that genuinely couldn’t be any less essential if they were made out of butter, deliberately misspelling his surname in order to make him seem like a massive show-off turd – everything.

But at heart Jamie Foxx has always been a comedian, and his lifelong inability to ever say or do anything even remotely amusing shouldn’t detract from that. Why, just the other day Jamie Foxx decided to use his Sirius radio show to turn his comedy spotlight onto 16-year-old Miley Cyrus:

“Who is Miley Cyrus? The one with all the gums? She’s got to get a gum transplant! … make a sex tape and grow up. Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin. Do like Lindsay Lohan and start seeing a lesbian and get some crack in your pipe. Catch chlamydia on a bicycle seat? That’s what I want.”

However, Jamie Foxx is nothing if not a realist. He’s seen how similar outbursts by comedians like Michael Richards and Mel Gibson have threatened to put an end to their careers – plus they were only offending entire communities, not anything serious like a solitary teenage millionaire – which is why Jamie Foxx decided the only way to put everything right was to go on Jay Leno and apologise relentlessly like a child or a woman would. Jamie said:

“I so apologize … and this is sincere. I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don’t mean any of it. I have a radio show… We’re really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean it maliciously. You know I’m a comedian. You know my heart. Miley, I apologize, so I’ll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand.”

Nice try, Jamie Foxx, but this strikes us as too little too late. The wheels of outrage have already been set in motion, and they’re going to trundle along until they reach their inevitable messy conclusion. And when that happens, and Miley Cyrus records 15 hour-long YouTube videos ranting away at how much of a douchebag Jamie Foxx is with her stupid insufferable voice until we all have strokes and die, Jamie will have nobody to blame but himself.

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  1. GHM says

    im no miley fan, but jamie went out of line saying what he said. she’s 16 and you’re 40, wtf was you thinking? if i said for your daughter to make a name for herself and go catch some std from a hobo, would you like it?

  2. Steph says

    Just what exactly does “apologise relentlessly like a child or a woman would” mean? BTW, try using spell check once in a while, apologize has a Z!! Who gave this guy the right to write articles on this website anyway?

  3. Justin says

    Yeah, let’s all feel bad about the hand-crafted piece of entertainment that no one would know about if her dad wasn’t famous. Jamie’s right, she’s all gums. Pro-Tip: Don’t put your daughter’s face on every available surface if she looks like a mule that’s been hit in the face with a shovel. I love how celebrity can just be inherited. Too bad looks are too.

  4. Chant says

    Anyone else find it amusing that Jamie Foxx went on national television to apologize for something he said on a satellite radio show? Would you find it more amusing if you knew that very few people even know he has a radio show, and that Sirius’ stock is currently trading at 42 cents American?

    Talk about making a mountain out of one’s own molehill.

  5. JK says

    This all reeks of white guilt.. The lame apology that will magically make it all go away unlike the flogging Michael Richards and that old radio host whose name escapes me got, the lack of attention to the “white bitch” comment….

  6. The Loop says

    I know, right? I can’t believe this idiot is actually a father, you’d think that would trigger a sensitivity chip in him, but I guess not even that can cause him to use some common sense. I hope this ruins his career, maybe then he’ll finally know where to draw the line in “comedy”. This fool isn’t funny, anyway.

  7. says

    Just because Noah Webster decided that it would be too difficult for Amerikanistanis to handle the complexities of English does not mean that your simplified version of our language is the true one, Steph. Worse yet, you have failed to determine whether the author in question is writing for his own website – which automatically gives him the right to do so.

    You really do represent the idiotically mugging face of your Confederacy Of Dunces, don’t you?

  8. PaHa420 says

    Jamie Foxx is a loser, whose mouth is out of control. He argues that because he is a so called “comedian”, we should excuse all his disgraceful comments. Well, he is wrong. Even comedy has its own boundaries, which he has crossed. He sucks in everything he has tried so far…just a marginal talent. I will skip his new movie, without giving it a second thought.

  9. says

    Ban his movies, no wonder so many blacks are out commiting crimes, most of Jamie Fox’s movies are crimes. Can you say braces? And they call white people racists? That guy from Seinfeld got crushed by the media and Jamie Fox gets away with this S..T ? Mel Gibson gets brutalized also!

  10. shooty* says

    Mag, that’s not fair, he’s just trying to add some local color. It’s perfectly honorable.

  11. dgaf says

    THANK YOU!!!!
    finally someone who is smart,
    and ciarra might not be racists but iam.
    fuck blacks they r hypictits!

  12. Dave says

    I think Jamie should be allowed to say whatever he wants. He was trying to be funny. Was it funny? Who cares? It’s words. Let it go. I also think that Don Imus was unfairly fired for his “nappy headed hos” line.

    I’m tired of the requisite apologies everytime somebody says something offensive. America as a nation has become so thin-skinned and “politically correct” it’s crazy. As soon as somebody is offended, we want the offender to lose their career. I’m waiting for someone to get thrown in jail for saying something nasty about Obama. OMG! You can’t say that! Everyone flog that person!

    Grow up.