James Bond, sorry Pierce Brosnan, hated playing James Bond. He probably hated the mega-bucks pay-cheques too, we imagine.

Pierce Brosnan (Books), now 52, has all but officially said goodbye to 007, which means he can now slag off playing the role to his heart’s content.

"I had all these stupid one-liners and loathed them. I felt like such a phony." moaned Brosnan like a big, hairy, ungrateful baby

"It never felt real to me and I never felt I had complete ownership of the role."

You can’t dispute Brosnan was a rubbish James Bond; it’s just taken him leaving the role for us all to realise that fact.

Sean Connery had the style, Roger Moore had the facial friendly quips (then there were the other two nobody cares about), leaving Brosnan with nothing but the biggest waistline.

"They play it so safe. The pomposity and rigmarole they put directors through is astounding."

Not nearly as astounding as your carbon-copy part in Night Watch, Pierce. hecklerspray predicts it’s all (even further) downhill for the only man who makes Jean Claude Van-Damme look like he’s got range.

Though we do think Brosnan’s next movie – about a safe-cracker who dies and is reincarnated as a series of animals – sounds ace.

Won’t be any stupid one liners there, no sir. We’ve heard it’s one of Bertolt Brecht’s early ones.

[story by Chris Laverty]