There are a few sounds that always make us turn off the radio instantly in a fit of rage. One of them is the phrase "Hello, I'm Chris Moyles," and the other is any James Blunt song.

And we're not the only ones – Essex hates James Blunt songs, too. In fact, Essex hates James Blunt so much that local radio station Essex FM has banned James Blunt from the airwaves for being an annoying, whiny, cloying, girl-haired, soppy-faced, useless-voiced git.

James Blunt used to be in the army. We know this because a) it's all his stupid face ever carps on about and b) a ten second snatch of You're Beautiful is enough to make even the most hardnosed terror suspect break down in floods of agony-filled tears. Just the thought of listening to the sound of Blunt yapping "Ma laff is brill-yant" in that ludicrous way is enough to turn the stomachs of grown-ups all over the world. Especially the stomachs that live in Essex.

Despite winning an Ivor Novello award for, as James Blunt calls it, "most overplayed song" last week, Essex FM – a GCap Media station – has decided to ban all James Blunt songs from its airwaves. Blunt's Ivor Novello acceptance speech included the line:

"To all those bastards who don't like my music – you're all adults, you can switch your radio off."

And it looks as if that's something that Essex FM feared might actually happen. So it took the preemptive step of banning the James Blunt songs You're Beautiful and Goodbye My Lover from the station. Chris Cotton, the Essex FM programme controller, told The Independent:

"Quite often there will be popular artists that people are starting to
grow weary of. This time, the number of specific comments about James
Blunt were more than we have ever seen for one particular artist. It was quite staggering. People said, 'Can you get rid of him?' 'Can
you ban him?' Even people who say they are fans of his songs go on to
express that they're sick of it."

The plan was to just ban James Blunt for a couple of days in a sort of jokey, publicity-seeking way, but Essex FM audiences seem to have warmed to the idea, as Cotton notes:

"The amount of feedback is enormous, so it looks like there'll be a pretty long-term ban… We encourage other radio stations to take the same step."

That's wonderful news. Sandi Thom, you're next.

Read more:

James Blunt banned by radio station 'to give listeners a rest' – Independent

[story by Stuart Heritage]