ITV ‘Kids’ to be Launched

Preferably into outer space. No, no, let’s be objective here. ITV - pioneers of the Saturday night game show - are to launch their own children’s television channel. Oh, joy.

Rumouredly entitled ITV Kiddlewinks (by us), this new channel will be available on digital, free to air, cable and any other telly format most people aren’t familiar with.

We’ve not much idea what the new channel will show, apart from probably not hardcore porn and Deadly Gunshots Wounds With Sheriff John Burnell. Most of the content could be comprised of foreign cartoon and drama imports.

Director of Programmes for ITV Nick Pickard is all geared up and ready to go with the ‘please watch’ spiel:

"This is a great opportunity for ITV to reinforce its position as a valued and trusted provider of children’s programming in an increasingly competitive market and to bring ITV to a new generation of viewers."

Deep breath, because there’s more. ITV have yet another frivolous channel up their sleeves, this time aimed at 22 – 45 year old men.

Lots of semi-naked soap stars and desperately modded up mid-life crisis Hondas are likely to make the rollcall. ‘Cos that’s what real men want these days, right?

That and football re-runs. Whoopdeedoo, go Denis Law.

[story by Chris Laverty]