If your answer is 'no', then chances are you're not a military prisoner being held by the United States in Iraq. Out there, you see, Deicide are massive. Huge. Seriously – literally every bomb-strapped insurgent worth his salt just can't get enough of them. Well … we say 'can't get enough of them'. What we actually mean is 'forced to listen to them at terrifying volume in order to be beaten into submission.'
For your information, Deicide are a death-metal band from Florida whose work to date includes such party classics as Homage For Satan, Fuck Your God, Scars Of The Crucifix and Granny's favourite Kill The Christian. They're named after the peculiar act of killing a divine being – something which hecklerspray presumes is quite a rare occurrence, save for that time our mate Dave was driving home drunk and accidentally ran over that bearded guy with the holes in his hands.
Anyway. After selling upwards of 500,000 records to their hardcore fanbase, Deicide have now launched a new career: they're officially the band whose music is used the most to torture Iraqi war prisoners. Yay!
Coming ahead of such other luminaries as AC/DC (nice and loud, but too light-hearted), Metallica (too melodic) and Eminem (too 1999), Deicide are apparently thrilled to learn that – when it comes to rupturing the eardrums of wannabe terrorist-types – they're number one with a bullet. Or maybe a bomb belt.
Deicide drummer Steve Asheim says:
"It's cool. If we're up to military standards of audio abuse, it makes me feel like Deicide's doing our part for the troops."
And if doing your part for the troops means sounding like the Cookie Monster straining to pass a razor-embedded turd while an army of monkeys dismantle a guitar factory, then – congrats – you've most certainly made a contribution.
This might not be the case for long, though. Other songs on the Torture Playlist show that those wily prisoners may be getting immune to this death-metal malarkey, and require more insidious choices to make them talk. Hence the inclusion of Babylon by David Gray, Stayin' Alive by The Bee Gees and Dirrty by Christina Aguilera – all of which would have hecklerspray confessing to the JFK shooting if played within a 30-mile radius of the office.
Still. You'll never get us to admit to that Michael Barrymore pool party incident. No matter what sort of hideous music you throw at us.
What's that? Babyshambles?
Oh no. Damn you. Damn you all to hell…