Mel Gibson’s asshole has become an internet sensation – a celebrated, slightly puckered, star in a galaxy of anuses.
But hold your horses. It’s not quite as clear as that. You may have thought that Mel Gibson ended a recent interview with local Chicago reporter Dean Richards by muttering ‘asshole’ at him after enduring an awkward line of alcoholism-related questioning, but you’re wrong. Mel Gibson doesn’t think that Dean Richards is an asshole. Mel Gibson is a people person. Mel Gibson loves everybody.
It was all just a misunderstanding. In actual fact, Mel Gibson was calling his publicist an asshole. So that’s fine. Everyone’s OK. And let’s just thank God that Mel Gibson’s publicist isn’t Jewish, because that would really compound the probl… pardon? He is Jewish? Whoops.
Following his arrest for being drunk and racially dubious in 2006, Mel Gibson has done his best to edge back into the limelight. He’s done this in the same way that many others have done before him – divorcing his wife, getting a Russian woman young enough to be his daughter pregnant, going on holiday with Britney Spears, making a snuff film in a dead language about the destruction of an ancient civilisation – but it never really worked. That’s why his new movie Edge Of Darkness opened second to Avatar at the box office this weekend.
But Mel Gibson is now more famous than he’s been in decades. And it’s all down to reporter Dean Richards, who asked so many probing questions during a local TV interview recently that the exchange ended with Mel Gibson muttering the word ‘asshole’ at him. Now everyone wants a piece of Mel Gibson’s asshole. It’s become his new catchphrase. You know, along with “FREEDOM!” and “SUGARTITS!” and “THE JEWS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE WARS IN THE WORLD!”
Now, if Mel Gibson fails to end an interview by muttering ‘asshole’ at the guy with the questions, it’ll be seen as a terrible let-down. Mel Gibson’s asshole will follow him wherever he goes. He’ll have to say it countless times a day to satisfy public demand. He’ll have to name his next child Asshole. It’ll be like this until he dies.
Except, wait – it turns out that Mel Gibson wasn’t calling Dean Richards an asshole after all. Turns out it was all directed at someone off-camera. Ninemsn reports:
In an SMS to KTLA News presenter Sam Rubin, Gibson claimed the remark was directed at his publicist, Alan Nierob, who he says was making faces at him off-camera. “Neirob was pulling faces at me during the interview,” Gibson texted. “I was calling him an asshole after the interview was over, or so I thought.”
Phew, reputation saved. Mel Gibson, you’re officially no longer the asshole guy. You’re back to being the alcoholic Jew-hating guy again. Boy, that sure was a lucky escape, wasn’t it?
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pst says
Hey Miss Stuart Heritage, you are either a gullible dumbfuk or wanting to suck Mel’s dick.
Nick says
God, what a horribly written article.
Jack Yan says
Hilarious, Stuart! I guess some readers didn
Asshole says
Well, nothing that Mr. Gibson has said is a lie, is it ? No one can say anything about a jew, and the world goes bezerk.