Celebrity divorces don’t just happen to celebrities, you know – they also happen to people we’ve never heard of, like Kate Walsh.
Oh, we’re just kidding. Of course we know who Kate Walsh is. She’s, you know, that woman who recently announced that she’s getting divorced from her husband. And she… um… what’s that, Wikipedia? Kate Walsh is the star of Grey’s Anatomy spin-off Private Practice and the movie Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer, Part 2, a movie that actually exists? Oh.
Anyway, Kate Walsh has asked everyone to respect her privacy in the wake of her divorce. Somehow, we can’t see that being a problem.
Remember when that screaming Australian woman from Lost who nobody would ever recognise by name got married to a man and then stopped being married to him soon after? Well, this is much, much worse – Kate Walsh is getting divorced.
That’s right, Kate Walsh. Not only would we not recognise Kate Walsh by name, but we wouldn’t recognise Kate Walsh by name, by sight, by voice or by smell. OK, admittedly we would recognise Kate Walsh by smell, but that’s only because we hide under her bed and sniff her hair in her sleep. There’s nothing creepy about it.
Anyway, Kate Walsh – a woman so stunningly anonymous that she could drive a truck that she’d renamed The Kate Walsh Express down The Kate Walsh Memorial Highway right into our face while flicking her headlights on and off to spell ‘I AM KATE WALSH FROM PRIVATE PRACTICE’ in Morse code and singing a special version of Boom Boom Boom Boom! by The Vengaboys that’s been rewritten so that every word is either ‘Kate’ or ‘Walsh’ through a megaphone and we still wouldn’t know who she was – is getting divorced. That was our original point.
Apparently Kate Walsh’s husband – a man called Alex Young who ironically is 4,000 times more famous than Kate Walsh despite never starring in a single movie or medical spin-off TV show – has had enough of being married to Kate Walsh after just 15 months of marriage and has filed for a divorce. People reports:
According to court papers obtained by PEOPLE, Young, 37, petitioned for a divorce, citing irreconcilable differences in his Nov. 22 filing. “The couple remain on friendly terms and sincerely hope the media will respect their privacy during this difficult time,” the pair said in a statement Thursday.
Oh, irreconcilable differences. That old chestnut.
Of course, the term ‘irreconcilable differences’ is often used as a cover-all excuse during a divorce, sometimes hiding the fact that one partner had an affair, other times hiding the fact that the marriage has turned abusive, and occasionally hiding the fact that the husband would sometimes completely ignore his wife in a crowd, seemingly forgetting who she was or what she looked like, often spending upwards of 20 minutes craning his neck and shouting “KATE! KATE WALSH! KATE WALSH FROM PRIVATE PRACTICE!” even though his wife is literally staring him right in the face at the same time.
Maybe we’ll never know which of these they meant by ‘irreconcilable differences’.
Anyway, we’d like to send our sincerest commiserations to Alex Young and… oh, you know, whatever his wife’s name is. It’s slipped our mind. Bugger.
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