Is Sienna Pregnant?

Soap operas are so much better when they’re conducted in real-life. Nobody wants to watch the Prozac-beckoning mundanity of Eastenders when they can read all about the antics of hair-weave heartthrob Jude Law.

This week - Jude dumps Sadie! Next week - Jude gets Sienna! The week after - Jude shags nanny! It’s like Days Of Our Lives with even worse actors.

Followers of the Jude Law (DVDs) adultery tirade will be very interested to learn of the spreading rumours: that young Sienna Miller (DVDs) is well and truly up the duff. Knocked up. Six weeks . The rumours - and they are just rumours - are apparently the number-one talkie-topic among showbiz insider circles. The rumours also fail to specify whether the Judester is the proud father - something which would add an interesting twist to the proceedings.

Of course, hecklerspray doesn’t pay any attention to trashy celebrity gossip. Oh no. Far from it. We prefer to stay inside a hermetically-sealed cultural bubble, surrounded entirely by Serge Gainsbourg albums and John Fante novels. Of course.

But we’ll still keep you posted, though.

No, no. Really. Don’t thank us…

[story by C J Davies]