Ireland Chooses Probable Eurovision Winner

We all know that that Eurovision contest means lots of things. In hecklerspray’s case, it’s a chance to piss off countries across Europe who, in turn, urge us to clean out our years.

For everyone else, it’s a chance to laugh at the horrifying cultural abortions that each country manages to choose. However, there are always a few hidden Eurovision rules. Poland won’t vote for Germany due to a spat they had in the 1940s and nobody votes for England. Not due to politics, but because the entries are shit. The painful memories of Scooch and Daz Sampson still live on. 

While England can choose between some washed-up soap star or reject from X Factor for its nomination, Ireland has had a better idea. Far from taking the competition seriously, they’ve nominated a puppet to represent then. If Finland can have a strange gothic heavy metal act, then why not Dustin The Turkey for Ireland? Because Dustin The Turkey is who Ireland has honestly voted to represent it in May's Eurovision Song Contest. With Paddy Power offering odds of 5-1 at the minute, it seems Dustin has a decent shot of winning it. 'It' being a competition that nobody wants due to the lunacy attached and colossal costs of staging it.