You can say a lot of things about Quentin Tarantino – mainly about his great big stupid chin if you like – but don’t say he never learns.

Remember Valkerie, the movie where Tom Cruise tries to kill Hitler but bollocks it all up? Not a great big hit at the weekend box office. But Inglourious Basterds, the movie where Brad Pitt tries to kill Hitler and then does, is a super duper number one hit at the weekend box office.

Or maybe it’s because everyone really wanted to see what Eli Roth is like as an actor. No? No, we didn’t think so either.

Inglourious Basterds is the new number one movie at the weekend box office, and presumably that’s because it contains a perfect storm of ingredients – Brad Pitt’s box office pull, Quentin Tarantino’s visual flair, the average hecklerspray commenter’s gross inability to spell two simple words correctly and utter, utter mind-bending boredom. Yes, that’s probably it. Anyway, here’s the US weekend box office top five…

1 - Inglourious Basterds (Wow, it looks like deliberate misspelling is the hot new craze at the moment. Let’s try it – Inglourious Basterds iz a pyle off furkken shet. Hey, it’s fun!) $32,602.000

2 - District 9 (Peter Jackson had a hand in producing this. It’s hard to tell though, because nobody who’s seen it has lapsed into a tedium-induced coma three and a half hours into it yet) $18,900,000

3 - GI Joe: Rise Of Cobra (Again, we really must state that – despite the suggestive title - GI Joe: Rise Of Cobra isn’t a porn movie. Sienna Miller doesn’t make porn movies. She probably will in a few years to fund the drug addiction she’ll develop when she realises that starring in a hokey second-rate action film about some toys is as good as her career will ever get, but she doesn’t yet) $12,500,000

4 - The Time Traveler’s Wife (Soon to be made into a TV show, if reports are to be believed. Presumably it’ll be just like Quantum Leap, only for shitheads) $10,025,000

5 - Julie & Julia (You know what’d be funny? If Julie & Julia starred Julie Andrews and Julia Roberts. Or Julie Martin from Neighbours in the mid-1990s and the Beatles song Julia. Or bloody something) $9,000,000

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