Ice Age: The Meltdown Liquifies US Weekend Box Office

Ice Age: The Meltdown was always going to do well at the US weekend box office. For a start, Ice Age: The Meltdown stars the voice of that interminable Everybody Loves Raymond bloke, and Americans love that.

Secondly, we can assume that Ice Age: The Meltdown is sitting at the top of the US weekend box office because huge swathes of people left showings of the original Ice Age movie with a number of questions in their head. Questions like "Why do they keep showing Ice Age on ITV all the sodding time?" and  "The sequel can’t be any worse than this, can it?" And lo, US weekend box office glory was theirs.

Perhaps the US weekend box office success of Ice Age: The Meltdown isn’t entirely down to the fact that it’s another ‘not really as good as Pixar but still quite OK we guess’ computer animated movie about a sort of weasely thing and a mammoth.

Perhaps the US weekend box office success of Ice Age: The Meltdown had more to do with the fact that all the geeks heard that there was a sneaky trailer for The Simpsons Movie before the film and spent ridiculous cash to see Homer Simpson in his pants for three seconds. We don’t know and - here’s the important bit - we don’t really care. Ice Age: The Meltdown is top of the US weekend box office and that’s all you need to know.

So here’s the US weekend box office round-up: just the weekend box office top five from now on. Why? You try thinking of a pithy line about Eight Under for the eight weeks in a row, and then we’ll talk. Anyway: weekend box office - let’s go!

1 - Ice Age: The Meltdown (In many ways, Ice Age: The Meltdown is the
film we’ve all dreamed of - an environmental discourse to the youth of
the world delivered in part by famous fossil-fuel burner Jay Leno. Not
quite Charlton Heston making a cartoon about how bad guns are, but
close enough for us) Weekend Box Office Total - $70,500,000

2 - Inside Man (Sadly, Inside Man is a thriller about a man with an
unconvincing American accent robbing a bank. A crashing disappointment for the
hoards of moviegoers who thought that Inside Man was a three-hour
exploration of Denzel Washington’s colon via an endoscope) Weekend Box
Office Total - $15,692,000

3 - ATL (Ever competitive, Big Boi from Outkast decided that - after
Andre 3000 made Revolver, Four Brothers and Be Cool - he decided to
star in ATL; his very own fuckawful stinker of a movie) Weekend Box
Office Total - $12,545,000

4 - Failure To Launch (The motto of Failure To Launch is that if you live with your Mum and Dad for long enough, Sarah Jessica Parker will come and seduce you. This is either a good or a bad thing, depending on if you’re a shoe-obsessed repressed homosexual or not) Weekend Box Office Total - $6,618,000

5 - V For Vendetta (Batman, Sin City, V For Vendetta - it seems as if
dark comic book movies are in vogue once again. Now let’s all cross our
fingers and pray that our screenplay for Whizzer And Chips: Shiner’s Militia Of The Night gets greenlighted) Weekend Box Office Total - $6,465,000

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Weekend box office - Box Office Mojo

[story by Stuart Heritage]