Hulk Hogan’s Wife Wants Half Of Everything In Divorce

You'd have thought that anyone divorcing Hulk Hogan would be happy to leave the relationship with nothing more than a handful of blissful, weirdly aggressive, borderline xenophobic memories to their name.

But that's not the case at all, as Hulk Hogan is quickly discovering for himself. Just days after Linda Bollea, Hulk Hogan's wife of 24 years, surprised the Hulkster by divorcing him, it's been announced that she's after everything that Hulk Hogan's got - namely half of his $9.5 million assets plus alimony, child support fees and health insurance for their son. But Hulk Hogan and Linda Bollea are both adults and we're sure they'll reach a sensible, amicable agreement over the course of time - either that or Hulk Hogan is going to walk around in circles puffing out his cheeks, waving an American flag about and ripping his shirt to pieces, which admittedly does seem to be his answer to bloody everything.

We can't imagine why Linda Bollea is divorcing the bald, long-haired, bleach-blond, handlebar-moustachioed, saveloy-armed, grunting play-fighter Hulk Hogan, but the sad truth of the matter is that she is. Which is news to us and news to Hulk Hogan too, since he reportedly only found out about the divorce through a phonecall from a journalist.

But whatever the reason that Linda Bollea is divorcing Hulk Hogan for - officially it's because the marriage is "irretrievably broken," which could mean anything - the fun has only just begun. Because, according to the filed divorce petition, Linda Bollea wants half of everything that Hulk Hogan's got. That's right - half of the money Hulk Hogan earnt during his wrestling career, half of the money he earnt from starring in Hogan Knows Best and, oh the humanity, even half of Hulk Hogan's Mr Nanny salary.

All in all, the divorce petition claims that Linda Bollea is after half of the couple's assets - namely a mansion in Bel Air, a house in Florida and another house under construction in Las Vegas - plus unspecified alimony and child support for their 17- and 19-year-old children, along with health insurance for their son Nick just in case he drives like a turd and crashes his car again.

News of Linda Bollea's divorce demands comes at the same time as rumours that perhaps - just perhaps - Hulk Hogan's marriage has been in trouble for a while, and that perhaps he and Linda were staying together for the money from Hogan Knows Best, and that perhaps the divorce became official a few days after VH1 decided that it wasn't going to make any new episodes of the show. How correct any of that is, we don't know. After all, the thought of a couple enduring a sham marriage for the sake of a brainless reality TV and the divorcing as soon as it ends seems wholly unrealistic to us.

We're sure the truth about Hulk Hogan's divorce will come out in time, bu for now Hulk Hogan has to worry about shelling out half of everything he owns to his soon-to-be ex-wife. However, there has to be a compromise here - Hulk Hogan is a big man, so why doesn't he just give his wife half of everything that he can physically pull apart with his bare hands? It's a fair deal, we think - face it, what woman wouldn't want to walk out of a quarter-century marriage with a suitcase full of flimsy vest-tops and nothing else?

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Hulk Hogan's Wife Wants half Of Assets In Divorce - People