Now that you’ve seen part of her back and about a third of one of her bras, Miley Cyrus is a certified sex object.
What? Miley Cyrus is only 15? Well, um, obviously we were joking about that sex object bit. The supple, milky-white backs of teenage girls are so disgusting to us that we think they should all be burnt with flaming torches. But Playboy‘s Hugh Hefner has another idea. You can probably guess what it involves.
That’s right – Hefner has asked Miley Cyrus to appear naked in Playboy. But don’t worry, because Miley Cyrus won’t be getting naked for Playboy until she’s 18, the age where people immediately stop having moral objections to teenage nudity. Until then, though, it looks like you’ll just have to wait until the inevitable Miley Cyrus naked internet photos. Perverts.
Phew, this Miley Cyrus thing has really started to calm down. When those Miley Cyrus underwear photos were so quickly followed by the not especially topless Vanity Fair pictures, the storm was so huge that we didn’t think it’d ever die down. But, after what seems like an age, people are finally starting to leave Miley alone.
And not a moment too soon. After all, not only does Disney need Miley Cyrus to keep making it lots of money, but Miley is a teenage girl, and she was only doing what teenage girls do – letting one of the world’s most famous photographers take slightly risque photo of her bare back and then blaming the same photographer as soon as they’re published and people get upset.
What’s more, tomorrow sees the release of Miley Cyrus’ Got Milk advert, and the last thing a 15-year-old girl in the middle of a sex scandal needs is a photo of her top lip covered in a creamy liquid. No, the Miley Cyrus is dead, and that’s the best place for it to be.
Except that Playboy founder Hugh Hefner has just decided to offer Miley Cyrus a chance to pose naked in his magazine. Whoops. The Boston Globe reports:
Hugh Hefner wants 15-year-old Miley Cyrus to pose naked in Playboy. The 82-year-old tycoon thinks the ‘Hannah Montana’ star… would be a hit with readers of the adult magazine when she turns 18. He said: “She would be welcomed in the magazine. She’s a very pretty lady.” He added to US TV show ‘Extra’: “I think to make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos. I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.”
Schizophrenic? Well, that’s exactly what you’d expect from a pornmonger like Hugh Hefner. Not us, though – naked teenage girls make us feel sick, and if we ever saw an underage girl taking her clothes off, we’d punch her square in the face as hard as we could.
However, we should point out that Hugh Hefner doesn’t want Miley Cyrus to appear in Playboy until she’s 18. And that’s actually OK, because that way a) Miley Cyrus will have made the choice as an adult to bare her flesh within the comfort of the law and b) we’ll get to see what Miley Cyrus’ boobs look like and if we’re lucky she won’t have aged much by then and still look a bit like a little girl. It’s a deal where everyone wins.
Especially Miley Cyrus. After all, her Dad is a country singer, and once she’s posed naked for Playboy she’ll be just a drug addiction and an abusive marriage away from filling in all the items in the country singer’s daughter to-do list. Again, everyone wins.
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mst3kster says
Irony is Hugh Hefner, with that mansion full of gorgeous women, having to masturbate himself to sleep every night.
euclid says
Where’s the creativity? Get Roman Polanski to take some pictures
of the 15 year-old Mildly Cyrius in a dodgy Eastern European country
that has no kiddie-porn laws and then sell them to Rupert Murdoch
who doubtless would love to see some egg on the face of Mickey’s crew.
And with RP’s help she could be a mother by 16! Everybody wins!
I’m quite curious how McDisney will negotiate their billion-dollar
property’s adolescence. Mickey’s probably sweating tacks.
By the way, I heard that Miley had to have a colostomy so that
they could design a chastity belt that really works. Ewww. sorry.
brandon says
she should definetly pose for playboy when shes 18 she can do whatever she wants shell be an adult.
ps. euclid her name is miley cyrus not MILDLY CYRIUS
AND MCDISNEY wtff??
this isnt mcdonalds buddy it aint the dollar mcnuggets. sorry to burst your bubble!
Jazzy says
OMG!!!!!!!! I do agree that she should have a choice but asking her when she’s fifteen!!! I bet her parents were very glad to here that offer!! but what are you going to do she’s 15 and we should expect some perverted guy to ask her to go to Playboy. Hey Hefner 3 more years you PERVERTED FREAK!!!!!!!!!
Oh and euclid learn how to spell!!! Her name is in the artical!!!!!
gir says
Ah, youth. When humorlessness and stupidity rule the day.
euclid says
“Oh and euclid learn how to spell!!! Her name is in the artical!!!!!”
… I am well and truly stunned.
And brandon, it’s ALL about the dollar McNuggets.
Is huffing back in again or something? Wow.
Valentin Beach says
No they were in another country!
JACKIE says
I TINK THAT MILY SHOULD DO WHAT SHE FEELS LIKE DOING JUST BECOUSE SHES 15 DOESNT MEAN SHE CANT MAKE HER OWN OPTIONS WITH HER LIFE WHEN SHE GROWS UP HEY MAYBE SHE WILL CHANGE MIND AND EVEN DO HER OWN VIDEOS ABOUT HOW 2 NOT GET ANY CELEB IN THE PLAYBOY MANTION FUCK HEFNER HES MENTAL RETARTED WHO SAYS THAT HER PARENTS SHOULD DISIDES. MILY JUST MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE THAT U WOULD WHANT NIO 1 IS FORCING U EXEPT 4 SOME 1 WE ALL NOW HEFNER HES STUPID.
PS; i wouldnt whant u showing my kids a bad example like my doughter says every one makes mistakes avery one has does days.
bye
rebbecca jones says
hello miley cyrus i would love if you visited on my birthday august 3rd in washington in snohomish at ave c st. 212 light bluehouse.
sebastian says
Why should 15-year-old miley cyrus pose when shes 18 pose now at 15? The fucking teenage peverts we’ll all be over her. and whats with this kiddie-porn law ANYWAY. What if lets say now, she only shows her breasts, THEN when she starts hittin up to 18 you just keep on revealing more and more of a body until shes fully naked. Thats what I think. Anyway, the human body both male and female its perfectly natural we’ve all seen the naughty bits. Also. Humans werent really meant to wear designer clothers or all the latest fashion. I mean if you look back to the cave men, most of them just ran around naked and none of them or anyone cared. Its all a natural thing. So i dis agree with this, only pose naked for playboy at 18. why not now. no one cares its just gonna be:”oh look another teenage naked girl.” It’s not like theres gonna be anything different from most girls anyway.
waqa waqa says
she will pose for playboy
and she will definitley have sex with hugh
Nzranga says
Oh My F**king God
Are you i-lit-er-it (that means you cant read and spell properly, just in case you dont know)
go back to 2nd grade
CJ Daniels says
Can’t believe weekly world news broke this story. Looks like miley is finaly going to be in playboy
http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/23574/miley-cyrus-to-do-playboy/