In many ways, Anna Nicole Smith was America’s Princess Diana, only a Princess Diana who sometimes wore terrifying clown make-up and babbled incomprehensibly in a high-pitched baby voice at a doll in a pram while her lawyer filmed her.
Just kidding – Anna Nicole Smith probably picked up the Diana comparisons because they’re both dead and they both probably had eating disorders. And they both married insanely wealthy men. And they both have second-born children of uncertain parentage. But, look, this is all beside the point – the great Anna Nicole Smith body-battle is still underway in Florida, and now Anna Nicole Smith’s possible boyfriend Howard K Stern has taken the stand to claim that Anna Nicole Smith wanted to be buried in the Bahamas, because that’s where most of Howard K Stern’s stuff is, or something.
Howard K Stern hasn’t exactly been suffering from an over-abundance of good press since Anna Nicole Smith died. Throughout his relationship with Anna Nicole Smith, all he ever did was love her, possibly father her daughter, fake-marry her on a boat, refuse to stop her opportunistically selling pictures of her dead son Daniel to magazines for hundreds of thousands of dollars because it was obviously in bad taste and help her cream millions more dollars from her dead billionaire husband’s family in the US Supreme Court – and now people are saying that he’s evil.
Well now it’s time for Howard K Stern to fight back. The great scrap over Anna Nicole Smith’s dead carcass continues to rage on – in short, Anna Nicole Smith’s mother wants her buried near the family home, Howard K Stern wants her buried in the Bahamas and other potential Anna Nicole Smith babydaddy Larry Birkhead wants to suck the DNA out of Anna Nicole Smith’s body and take on her powers. Or something.
And yesterday Howard K Stern took the stand in court to make his claim that Anna Nicole Smith wanted to be buried in the Bahamas next to the grave of Daniel Smith, her son who died of a drug overdose last year. ABC reports:
"Anna and Daniel were inseparable. Daniel was without question the most important person in Anna’s life," Stern told Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin. At Daniel’s funeral, "she said ‘if Daniel has to be buried, I want to be buried with him,’ " Stern said. Without written proof of Smith’s own wishes, Seidlin is forced to hear testimony from those who claim to know what Smith wanted… Stern, who was ordered to be in court, testified Smith "was my best friend, lover, the mother of my daughter everything to me." She always thought she was going to die young, Stern said. "She thought she was going to be like Marilyn Monroe."
Only a Marilyn Monroe who sometimes wore terrifying clown make-up and… oh, we’ve already done that joke. Anyway, Judge Larry Seidlin now has to weigh up Howard K Stern’s claim against those of the other body-battlers – an undoubtedly tricky task without knowing who the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby is first – but Howard K Stern must be hoping that his ‘my dead girlfriend loved her dead son’ tactic has the emotional clout he was after.
And if Anna Nicole Smith does end up being buried in the Bahamas, at least she won’t have to roll around on a bed with a government official first this time. Mainly because she probably smells quite bad by now.
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Dan Teetree says
Anna Nicole Smith belongs to THE WORLD… she should be shot into a cloud and exploded. Voila, no more problems… with the only downside being freaky clown-looking rain
Sam Morris says
KEY POINTS – Stern testified that there had not been any drugs of Methadone around Anna Nicole Smith in the last five months, since her son Daniel died.
That testimony by Howard K. Stern was a lie. Prescription medication found at the scene, inside the refrigerator next to her bed at the Hard Rock Hotel, included the stimulant Provigil, the anti-anxiety drug Xanax, the powerful pain reliever Vicodin, and the morphine-like pain reliever Methadone — a lot of Methadone.
In testifying to being the father of Dannielynn, Howard K. Stern stated he is the father, according to the laws of the Bahamas. That was a clear message, that he had done some research on the paternity laws of the Bahamas.
Reading the laws of the Commonwealth of the Bahams, CHAPTER 130 dealing with paterity, states that the father is the name on the birth cirtificate and states there is no need to search for a father, when the father named on the birth cirtificate can be located. No blood tests are required to locate a father, when the father named on the birth certificate is living and can be located.
If you read the will of Anna Nicole Smith, Howard K. Stern is the one who benefits from her death. The will is the road map to murder, a double homicide and possibly more.
Howard K. Stern has the cunning and courtroom posture of Theodore Bundy with a mixture of lies and defiance similar to Scott Peterson.
In the Bahamas, the father of Dannialynn by law is Howard K. Stern. By the laws of the Commonwealth of the Bahamas, Howard K. Stern and Anna Nicole Smith were legally married at sea on a boat with a Bahamas minister, which is very common practice in the Bahamas. The commitment ceremony, held on the high seas, is a legal binding marriage in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas.
The will of Anna Nicole Smith, which was completely manipulated and crafted by Howard K. Stern, making him the sole beneficiary, will hold up as a legal will in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas.
Regardless of the language in the will, by the laws of the Commonwealth of the Bahamas, Howard K. Stern is considered the surviving spouse of Anna Nicole Smith and is entitled to inherit her entire estate.
That little wedding commitment ceremony held on the boat, out on the high seas, was done for a reason. It was part of Howard K. Stern’s master plan.
Howard Stern planned this entire plot from the very start of his relationship with Anna Nicole Smith, when as her attorney, Anna told Howard she wanted to die young like Marilyn Monroe. That’s when Howard realized it would be more profitable for him to step aside as her attorney and remain as her confidant, but not before he had crafted the will of Anna Nicole Smith.