They used to walk around like or you and I, or like particularly confused horses. They certainly weren't known for violently pitching forwards every time they went out in public? Well, thanks to Lady Gaga those days are over, babyface. Cementing her status as the new celebrity that everyone slavishly apes every time she does something new and outrageous, like wearing a new dress made of pubic hair, or wearing a hat made of Banbury cheese and wisps of gossamer, or violating ferrets with clock hands, or whatever.
Now, following her recent collapse at an airport, everyone is hurling themselves at the floor. We've already seen one of the Jedward muppets fall over this weekend (admittedly, this was less to do with a desire to copy Lady Gaga, more because he was off his tits on fizzy pop and sherbet fountains, and that both of them are the most awful, uncoordinated dancers seen at Weston-Super-Mare since poking bears with heated sticks to make them merrily caper by was outlawed by an act of Parliament in 1785).
So who's the latest to join in the hot new trend? Find out after the jump.
You clicked? Really? That was probably a mistake. Look, I know it's Monday and you're probably bored, sitting in the office wondering where your strictly allotted two days of fun went or why you took that girls number down wrong, and having idle dreams about going all ?Derrick Bird? on your co workers (too soon?) and just, God, does it have to be like this? You're ossifying in this clean, well-lighted office where dreams go to die. But really? Staving off the passage of time by seeing who has fallen over? You should probably take a long hard look at yourself. Anyway, that said, let's get this horrorshow over with.
Now Magazine, which is apparently Johnny-on-the-spot when it comes to celebrity tumbles (which someone should probably look into) reports firstly on Cheryl Cole/Tweedy/Whatever:
Cheryl Cole reportedly fainted during a photo shoot at a north London studio on Saturday. Doctors were immediately called to the scene and told The X Factor judge, 27, she had collapsed because of severe exhaustion.
And then on Alicia Keys:
The singer – who is 5 months pregnant – tripped and fell on her back at the 16th Essence Music Festival in New Orleans on Saturday. Fortunately, Alicia, 29, quickly managed to get back to her feet and continue her performance.
See? Really nothing to add. I don't even think the second one counts as a story actually, sorry.
Anyway, I hope you’re happy now. I?truly hope your life has been enriched by wasting five minutes of your time reading something that could have been covered in a mere two short sentences -??That bitch of an ex-wife of national hero Ashley Cole falls over? and ?literally nothing happens to a woman full of babies?. See? Easy. Could have saved us both a lot of bother. Now go and stab yourself in the side of the head with a pen.