You know what’s sexy? Accents. I mean, that’s a pretty universal statement, right? Pizza is delicious, “Seinfeld” is funny, Hitler was evil, and accents are sexy. Yep, the only thing sexier than an accent is when it’s coming from the mouth of a very attractive person; of which Hollywood has an abundance.
So, I present a bit of sexy all over the world: celebs from various regions of the world (one person per place, unless they’re siblings a la the Hemsworth bros) who not only have wetty-inducing accents, but faces and bods to match. You may need a cold drink (or tissue) while you read this.
Germany: Michael Fassbender
In case you haven’t seen “Shame” or “A Dangerous Method”, Michael Fassbender is essentially physical perfection. Fassbender is of German and Irish descent (born in Germany then raised in Ireland) so he has this really sexy mixed accent (plus he has a huge penis, so, ya know).
Scotland: James McAvoy
Fassbender’s sexy “X-Men” co-star is a personal favorite of mine. Back in 2007, I saw “The Last King of Scotland” and spent like months just Googling James McAvoy and fantasizing that we’d be together forever and he’d impregnate with his little Scottish babies (I was 20, OKAY?!). Then he did “Wanted” with my all time biggest female crush, Angelina Jolie, and I was like “Oh good, I can die happy now, because watching that movie gave me the best orgasm I can ever hope to have.”
South Africa: Charlize Theron
Aside from seeming really fucking cool and being pretty damn talented (ok, I actually spent the majority of the movie “Monster” laughing, but she was excellent in “Young Adult”!), this South African beauty is actually physically perfect. A babe to end all babes, if you will.
Ukraine: Mila Kunis
How hot Mila Kunis and Laura Prepon got AFTER “That 70′s Show” ended goes to show that some people are just fine wines who get better with age. Even though she’s pregnant with that douche Ashton Kutcher’s baby (who knows, maybe he’s a really cool guy? I’m really just jumping on a stupid band wagon), Mila is still a Russian-speaking sex symbol.
Canada: Ryan Gosling
Ok, so saying “Eh” at the end of your questions may not count as an accent, but he did import to Hollywood from a different country and he IS sexy. So, we’ll just leave it at that.
Israel: Natalie Portman
This Harvard graduating, child actor turned Oscar-winning stunner was actually born Natalie Hershlag in Jerusalem, Israel. She’s basically a sexy Jewish Goddess.
Kenya: Lupita Nyong’o
Fun fact: this Oscar-Winning It Girl whose parents are Kenyan and was raised in Kenya was actually BORN in Mexico (she also went back there for seven months when she was 16) and Lupita actually considers herself Mexican-Kenyan (she has dual citizenship, as well), so she’s like DOUBLE imported.
Sweden: Joel Kinnaman
If you don’t know who this guy is or why I find him so damn sexy, go watch “The Killing”. Preferably season 3. All your questions will be answered (as if this picture doesn’t answer them).
France: Eva Green
This Paris born former Bond girl is so hot that her new posters for “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For” have actually been banned some places for being TOO sexy. Les Meow (I can’t speak French and I won’t pretend to)
Australia: Chris and Liam Hemsworth
Australia’s hottest imports are definitely the Hemsworth brothers. Sure, Liam is a little tainted because he was engaged to Miley Cyrus, but he’s really pretty and sounds really nice when he talks so I can overlook it.
England: Kate Beckinsale
I really wanted to make Gary Oldman my sexy person from England, but I figured I’d give the people what they really want, and people always really want Kate Beckinsale.
Mexico: Gael García Bernal
This Mexican hunk actually dated fellow sexy import, Natalie Portman, for a long time before she went onto marry a French guy. Guess Natalie also likes a hot accent.
China: Ziyi Zhang
This Chinese actress is so beautiful she’s often called the Asian Angelina Jolie…by only me. I’ve never actually heard anyone say that. But she’s really really pretty, all the same.