If there is one thing I’ve come to learn over the years, it’s that it’s great to be a strange little man in Hollywood. You can bang all the kids you want and still be considered a highly respected director, just ask Roman Polanski or Woody Allen! While Polanski is still banned from ever coming to America, Allen is back in the news again because his former daughter, Dylan, wrote a pretty intense essay about how he molested her as a kid. Gross.
However, as per usual, Hollywood sticks by their perverts. The fact that Allen was accused of molesting Dylan years ago isn’t exactly a secret, nor is the fact he is currently married to his former step-daughter, yet just the other week the fanciest bitches in Hollywood were tonguing his asshole at the Golden Globes and giving him a lifetime achievement award. Hollywood: the place where no fucks are given as long as you’ve got talent.
In her open letter for The New York Times, Dylan writes about the 1993 incident, when she was just 7-years-old:
When I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother’s electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that we’d go to Paris and I’d be a star in his movies. I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains.
Pretty intense stuff. However, the biggest thing she wrote, in my opinion, was when she called out big Hollywood names for continuing to not give a fuck about any of this shit:
What if it had been your child, Cate Blanchett? Louis CK? Alec Baldwin? What if it had been you, Emma Stone? Or you, Scarlett Johansson? You knew me when I was a little girl, Diane Keaton. Have you forgotten me?
A lot has been said about this whole scandal. Woody was never charged with anything and some people think Mia Farrow put these thoughts and stories in young Dylan’s head to get back at him for banging her oldest daughter. And as I write that sentence I can’t help but think “what the fuck?!” Even if the guy didn’t diddle a 7-year-old, he still started banging the teenage daughter of his long-term girlfriend who was also the mother of his only biological child (even though we all know now that Ronan is totally Frank Sinatra’s son. That dreamy piece of man is obviously a spawn of old blue eyes, but that’s besides the point).
Here’s the thing: I love Woody Allen movies, I really do. I can rant all day about how people need to be throwing more shade at him for his shitty behavior, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m one of the dickheads who is keeping him rich and successful. Same with Polanski, and he’s a CONVICTED kid rapist.
At the end of the day, Woody Allen has hurt a lot of people, I mean, the guy fucking destroyed Mia Farrow’s family, but the chances of Hollywood giving a shit about what it’s most talented does are about as good as Farrah Abraham doing something classy or Kayne West being humble. That shit just isn’t going to happen.