Three long years hecklerspray was desperate for a stalker. We wanted one for self validation, we wanted one for adoration, and – most importantly – we wanted a chump for our very expensive body guard to elbow in the face. Seriously, we pay him like $7 an hour and all he ever does is open doors and hold our umbrella.
So imagine our pain then, when we found out today that that ungrateful little Hilary Duff gets a stalker all her own – and she doesn't even want one! What did she do to deserve it? She sings a handful of mediocre tunes, did some gum commercials with her sister, looks kinda chubby in jeans – all stuff we'd done way before her!
And did we get a death threat out of it?! No! Hilary Duff did though. Boy oh boy, did she ever!
Hilary Duff's got a stalker that threatened to kill her, and the stalker's messages were relayed to Duff through his paparazzo roommate. That's the gist of today's story, with that down feel free to move on to another topic. Seriously, get out of here!
What… what are you guys still doing here? Well OK, but you're killing us.
Duff's stalker was one Maksim Myaskovskiy, a Russian immigrant who reportedly came to America to pursue his Duff-infused destiny. The former red was arrested on suspicion of menacing the actress, and was/is being held on $200,000 bail. Court papers shine quite a light on the imprisoned freedom loving ex-communist:
"He has admitted to being 'obsessed' with her, has stated his intention of purchasing a weapon, and has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention… and that Joel Madden stands in their way."
For those of you worried about Duff's current boyfriend Joel Madden's safety given his current circumstance, don't – he has tattoos. A man with tattoos cannot be defeated. Before his incarceration, Myaskovskiy the 18 year old mad Russian, was all shacked up with a 50-year-old Paparazzo. The Paparazzo roommate claims he tried to warn Hilary Duff of the threats against her life. Duff's lawyers had a very different opinion of the photographer's actions. David Joseph Klein (the paparazzo) had this to say of the matter:
"I was trying to help warn them. They turn around and make it like I'm the guilty person. I volunteered that information and they totally twisted it."
Yeah, Stalkers. We are so jealous. Why can nobody notice us. Why does nobody want to hide under our bed while we take a nap? Why will nobody secretly trail us home to our residence at 221b Baker Street, London, England? Why does nobody call 392 484-6788 to ask our mother when we'll be visiting next? Don't get all Selena on us though, seriously. If you do, we hear-by swear to call upon the power of Joel Madden's many tattoos and strike you down!
Way down!
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band of followers says
This can’t be true hilliary duff is the most amazing person on earth why would anybody in the right mind try to murder her can you imagine how lost girls
would be without her.
please give more info.
– consernd and loyal band of followers
Ashley says
Hey stop hating on Hilary, she’s like the best person ever