Hey You! Smoke Drugs With The Streets!

Ever wanted to do something illegal in front of thousands of people and a bloke who can't decide if he's from Birmingham or London? Good, because Mike Skinner from The Streets wants to take drugs with you later this month.

The Streets are set to headline this year's Get Loaded festival in Clapham this coming bank holiday weekend and, perhaps knowing that watching a man basically talk in a stilted way about how difficult it is being a pretend chav for a hour, Mike Skinner has decided to crank up interest by holding a competition. If you can design a homemade bong better than anyone else, Mike Skinner will let you smoke it onstage during The Streets's Get Loaded set. It's a win-win - you'll get famous and The Streets will claw back their rebellious reputation, even though smoking drugs at a festival these days is about as rebellious as brushing your teeth.

The Streets have a lot to answer for. If it wasn't for Mike Skinner wanking on like a mockney for three whole albums then Kate Nash wouldn't have got to number one by singing like a Superdrug Saturday girl even though she's clearly the poshest woman ever born, Lily Allen wouldn't be throwing her third nipple around like a nubby volleyball and Lady Sovereign wouldn't exist. In short, Mike Skinner owes us.

And that's why Mike Skinner is giving something back to his fans. Sure, The Streets may have traded in their urban poet appeal for Ivor Novello awards, appearances on Celebrity Love Island and world's longest music videos, but it's time for Mike Skinner to return to his roots. And it seems that means smoking drugs onstage at a festival with whoever manages to make him the best homemade bong. The Sun reports:

Mike Skinner has launched a controversial competition that will result in one fan joining him on stage to smoke a bong. The Streets frontman is encouraging fans to make the most outlandish piece of smoking apparatus they can imagine. In a video post on his website the MC explains: "We were hoping someone might accompany us on stage during the finale of The Irony Of It All. In the song I mention a homemade bong. We're hoping that someone might be able to make us a fantastic homemade bong and demonstrate it for us onstage."

He's a rebel, that Mike Skinner. Who else could think of something so dangerous, so cutting-edge, so painfully cool as rebelliously smoking drugs in public? Oh, George Michael. So Mike Skinner is now as cool as George Michael. Surely that'd be a knock to anyone's credibility. Never mind - hopefully this comparison to a bland-pop overlord will be a one-off. Here's the video of Mike Skinner asking for people to send him bongs…

Wait wait wait - go back to the beginning of the video again. Did Mike Skinner just say what we thought he said? Did he say that The Streets were covering an Elton John song? So now Mike Skinner is a bit like George Michael and a bit like Elton John? That's hardly getting back to your roots at all, is it? What next - will Mike Skinner buy a trout farm? Soundtrack a Disney movie? Bum a man in a hedge?

But, hey, maybe we're reading too much into this. After all, getting your fans to help design something that accompanies one of your songs is a pretty cool thing to do. And don't worry if you don't win The Streets' bong competition - you can always console yourself by trying to make Mike Skinner actually cry during Dry Your Eyes. Preferably by hurling a bottle of piss at his nice new suit.

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Skinner's Smoking Competition - The Sun