Since Carrie Prejean vanished, we’ve been forced to choose between pretty girls being nice or ugly girls being awful.
But now Carrie Prejean is back! We can have a pretty girl being awful again! Hooray! This time Carrie Prejean has decided to be awful by suing the Miss USA organisers, claiming that they fired her because of her crackpot anti-gay beliefs instead of not doing anything she was told to.
Carrie Prejean is suing for an undisclosed amount and – on the off-chance that she’ll spend it all on a house far away from all of humanity – we hope she wins.
You may not agree with this – either because you disagree with her political beliefs or because you’re fortunate enough to have a job that doesn’t involve having to memorise who idiots like Carrie Prejean are – but the world is a better place whenever Carrie Prejean is in it.
This is true. Just look at the last Miss Universe competition. Carrie Prejean didn’t take part in it, and what was the most exciting thing that happened? Heidi Montag flailing around like a damp Britney Spears impersonator being tasered by a kind-hearted policeman, that’s what. But if Carrie Prejean had been in Miss Universe, it would have been a ball – maybe she’d have repeated her statement about how gay marriage was icky and wrong. Or maybe she’d have aced the Write A Threatening And Badly-Spelt Email To Your Superior round. Or maybe she’d have just got naked again.
The sad truth is, we’ll never know. We’ll never know because Carrie Prejean was sacked as Miss California precisely because of her spectacularly misjudged efforts to win over the audience by declaring gay marriage to be wrong and immoral, without realising that gay men are the only people who watch beauty contests now that the internet has started doing porn for free.
At least that’s what Carrie Prejean says. And she’s suing the Miss USA organisers for their discriminatory behaviour towards her just because she happened to exercise free speech and tell all gay people that they made her want to throw up into a bucket, or whatever. Reuters reports:
Prejean’s attorney Charles LiMandri said pageant officials based their decision to terminate her contract on invitations Prejean received for events she was never required to attend. “There was a strained relationship, and it became that way when she gave that answer and would not back off of it. That’s what this is really all about,” LiMandri told Reuters.
We’ll be honest here – we really don’t care too much about who’ll win this lawsuit. So long as whoever wins it promises to shut up about it forever, we’ll be happy. But Carrie Prejean’s lawsuit does throw a spanner in the works for future Miss USA competitions. Will competitors be too scared to say what they really think for fear of missing out on the title? That hardly seems fair.
That’s why we’ve come up with a proposal. We think that in the future there should be one Miss USA contest for pretty girls who generally make sense when they speak, and several other Miss USA contests for girls with berserk prejudices about other people. That way there could be a Miss Homophobic USA, a Miss Racist USA, a Miss USA Who Doesn’t Trust People If Their Eyes Are Too Close Together and a Miss USA Who Believes That Physical Deformities Are God’s Punishment For Crimes Committed In Previous Lives.
We’d watch it. No we wouldn’t.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Im still laughing at the hypocrisy of this article.
Weather you like, dislike, agree with or disagree with Carrie Prejean she has the right to her opinion. Just as this article totally bashed her (and basicly anyone else in the world that disagrees with the author’s oppinions)for having an oppinion.
When did it become that we as Americans are only allowed to voice oppinions that are popular?
“for pretty girls who generally make sense when they speak” Does this translate to “For those that only share MY opinion and everyone else is a retarded racist”? If so to me this article is an example of that very mentality.
Personally I dont care if she wins, looses …. whatever. Just voicing my opinion about a biased article.
Mat, honey, I believe in freedom of speech a hundred percent. It’s just that it kind of works for both sides, yeah?
Carrie Prejean has the right to say that she thinks homosexuality is immoral and gay marriage should be banned, and I have the right to say that I think she’s a bigot and a moron.
Not everyone is American, fortunately.
Anyone can voice whatever opinion they like. They then have the right to be roundly mocked by people who think they are idiots (you may, hopefully, experience this in all its glory).
Your somewhat illiterate screed crying for ‘balance’ puts you firmly in line with her ‘oppinions’, for my money.
Matt, you are correct. She has her first amendment right to speak up… just like the KKK and the Neo-Nazis do.
Hitler had his opinion on Jews, George Wallace and the south had their opinion on black and Antia Bryant had her opinions on gays. I wonder why the world criticized them?
Why all the hate, she is beautiful. I wonder if she used this to get her smile? http://www.altawhite.com/?aid=177589